


Faith's Hopeful Tricks

by Sly_Trickster



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Community: femmeslash, F/F, Season 3 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-07-10 12:15:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 35,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6984673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sly_Trickster/pseuds/Sly_Trickster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An exploration of what could have happened in Season 3, had Buffy spent a little less time obsessing over Angel, and a lot more time with Faith. Told mostly from Faith's perspective, it takes a lot of subtext and turns it into text text. This story is (pretty PG) femmeslash.<br/>Story now complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Homecoming: In Which Faith and Buffy Dance

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter makes direct reference to (and paraphrases from) season 3, episode 5 "Homecoming." So thank you to David Greenwalt for a beautiful base for exploring a more Faith-centric version of events! And thanks in advance to everyone who reads this :D Leave a review too, if you'd like.

_Faith was wailing on a Carnyss demon. Or some kind of demon anyway. The point was more that she was punching him repeatedly in the face, whatever type of demon he was. She paused to crack her knuckles and stretch her neck. Then she smashed her fist into his nose, which, delightfully, broke._

_“Faith,” Diana sighed. “If you would kill him now, I would be much obliged.”_

_Faith glanced back at her bespectacled watcher, who clutched the bridge of her nose and then threw Faith an axe. Faith caught it and decapitated the demon._

_“We will need to burn him to make sure he does not resurrect himself.” Diana said._

_“I’m on it boss,” Faith replied. She smiled as she plucked her zippo from the tight front pocket of her jeans._

_Diana chuckled at Faith indulgently and said, “I think we’ll need to move him first. This alleyway is less than ideal.”_

_“Right,” Faith looked at the corpse. “I’ll take the body and you get the head.”_

_“Delightful,” Diana said. She picked up the head and tucked it under her arm. “Would you like to come over afterwards? I was thinking I would make you some of those mashed potatoes you like.”_

_Faith’s cheeks pinked with pleasure as she slung the body over her shoulder. “Sure thing boss.”_

*********

Faith looks up, pulling herself out of that dangerously happy memory. Diana is dead. Faith is still in Sunnydale, in her motel room. At least Kakistos is dead now too.

Shit. Buffy needs to get there soon so they can dust some vampires already. Ms. Perfect is already late. Or probably is. Faith doesn’t have a watch or a clock but she is getting majorly antsy.

A girl can only wait so long, she thinks as she stands up. She strides across the room and swipes her stake from the dresser by the door. She doesn’t need to look in the mirror first, because she already knows how she looks (hot).

As she pulls open her door, Buffy materializes, with her hand poised to knock.

“Sorry I’m late,” Buffy says. “Oz drama. Major werewolf-age tonight.”

“Fur boy needed extra handlers or what?”

“Something like that. But he’s been thoroughly tranqed. So let’s go.”

“Alright B. You’re lucky I waited for you.”

“Yeah yeah. I’d patrol alone… But as a team we’re actually of the good.” Buffy crinkles her little nose, in something like surprise or disgust. She stares Faith in the eyes. Always straight on like that. Faith smirks and swooshes past Buffy onto the landing. Her shoulder brushes across Buffy’s chest and Faith feels a little thrill where their skin touches.

“Let’s kill us some vamps B.”

Buffy smiles and rolls her eyes. She keeps pace with Faith as they walk down the rotting and crooked stairs of the motel. “Did I mention I’m running for homecoming queen?”

Faith snorts. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Yeah. Do I have your vote? I’m not fully sure whether you go to Sunnydale high or not, but hey, I’m looking for all the votes I can right now. I am willing to bribe you.”

“Whoa. Yeah, I really do not go to Sunnydale. Remember that problem with authority thing? I dropped out of school ages ago. But hey, you can have my vote anyway.”

“I brought a cupcake, chocolate. It’s the bribe.”

“Thanks B. But let’s slay first, eat later.”

They walk to the graveyard in comfortable silence, Faith unable to erase her smirk. Homecoming queen. This badass vampire slayer has some odd priorities. But Buffy’s quirks are helping bring Faith out of her funk, away from oppressively wonderful Diana memories, that are so acutely painful because she knows exactly what she’s lost. No offence to Giles. Diana was just… 

Whoa. So much for the funk lifting.

It’s the middle of the night and the sky is dark, but the stars are bright. The graveyard looks too quiet. Faith really badly needs something to kill.

It doesn’t take too long. After all, this is Sunnyhell.

A vamp lunges out from behind a crypt, his hands out in a caricaturish way. Like he is a cartoon monster lunging at them. Speaking of cartoon, Faith can’t understand how one town can have so many creepy crypts. Damn. But killing, right, vampire killing starts now.

Faith relaxes into her fighting stance, stake in right fist. She watches Buffy in her peripheral vision. Faith hangs back a moment as Buffy swings forward with a haymaker to the vampire’s head. Buffy is physically tiny, shorter than Faith, with a delicate face. Watching her throw beasts across the cemetery is a little bit miraculous. 

  The vampire stumbles backwards, clutching his head. He growls and charges them. Faith charges back. They collide and Faith’s knee knocks the wind out of him. Buffy is behind her, so close Faith can feel Buffy’s warm breath on her neck for a moment. And then Buffy is in front, pouncing on the chest of the vampire, pushing him fully onto the ground. As almost always, Buffy’s stake has somehow fallen in the shuffle. Faith tosses her own to Buffy, who catches it one handed and dusts the guy. It’s both smooth and and mischievous. 

“Thanks F,” Buffy says, gently mocking.

She throws the stake back to Faith and they continue to wander. After dusting a few more vamps they decide to head in.

“Hungry and horny B?”

“Well, I could go for a yoghurt.” 

Faith grins and gives Buffy a somewhat lascivious sidelong glance. 

“I’ll see you on the limo ride to homecoming, B. I am still your date right?”

“Well yes, we are still both going stag… Together. But I’ll probably be crowned queen and all.”

“Yeah I get it, see you homecoming. I’ll take my cupcake now.” Faith winks as Buffy extracts a cupcake from a tupperware in her nonchalantly slung backpack. She places it in Faith’s upturned hands and they part. Faith looks over her shoulder at Buffy. Faith enjoys this feeling, of not being alone.

 

***************** 

It’s homecoming. Faith is wearing a dress. She taps her hipbones where her belt loops usually are. The dress feels a bit… dressy? At least she just implied to Scott Hope’s date that he was riddled with venereal disease. Because he broke up with Buffy like two days ago. Who does he think he is? Especially when Buffy kicks such an impressive amount of ass… 

Now, Faith is waiting for Buffy, and feeling almost uncomfortably like one of the Scoobies. She and Willow and Xander decided to reunite Cordelia and Buffy through a shared limo ride. But why did she help? Their whole feud is totally boring. She hasn’t decided if Scooby-dom is worthwhile yet.

So she’s regretting the dress, their plot, the dance, because Homecoming is egregiously lame and Buffy’s not even here. Faith leans against a rickety punch table, trying to make her sulky pose look somewhat cool and brooding.

She yawns as she surveys the room. Willow and Xander are awkwardly avoiding each other as Willow watches Oz play and Xander stumbles aimlessly. Now he’s stumbling her way.

“Cordelia and Buffy are sure taking a while, hey?” he says, his eyes strangely furtive. 

“Yeah, whatever,” Faith scowls.

“Yeah, probably just fighting it out.” 

Faith nods. The air stinks of teenage sweat and Xander is even more awkward than usual.

“I hope they arrive soon, so I can see my girlfriend. Cordelia. Who is also my date.”

“Uh yeah, I am aware lover boy. Thanks for the update.” Faith quirks her eyebrow at him. He’s definitely bugging. But Faith kinda doesn’t care.

“Well… good talk.” he says and gives Faith a shoulder punch. He quickly withdraws his fist, claps his hands together and walks off. 

Faith shakes her head. She decides to slide into the crowd and get her dance on. She finds a studly enough guy swaying on the sidelines. His eyes are hazel and his hair is dirty blond.

“Dance with me.” she says, pulling on his hand.

“Yeah, alright,” he says, stumbling after her. His palm is kind of sweaty and he gives off shy guy vibes. He’ll do though. She turns around and sticks her butt in the direction of his crotch, slowly gyrating to the melodies of Dingoes Ate my Baby. He timidly moves behind her and with her. Their bodies almost touch but never actually do.

The music is loud but she still hears the gym doors opening.

She jumps away from the guy and peers at the door. 

“Thanks for the dance,” she says, giving him an exaggerated wink. She sees Buffy’s blonde head bobbing towards her. Faith weaves through the crowd to find her fellow slayer.

Buffy has dirt smeared all over her face and looks perfectly disheveled. Cordelia is behind her, her hair askew, dress mud splashed.

“Whoa B. You and Cordy didn’t do that to each other… _did you_?” Faith asks, as she approaches Buffy through the crowd.

“Long story,” Buffy says.

“A bunch of uggo monsters thought I was you and they were having a slay the slayer fest.” Cordelia says, flicking her hair off her nose.

“Ok, not that long.” Buffy rolls her eyes.

“Shit B, I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you.”

“It’s alright, Cordy and I did inadvertently bond.” Buffy nods, Cordelia already on her way to Xander. “And we’re also not dead, which is a plus.”

Buffy perks up. They’re about to announce homecoming queen. Reluctantly, Faith slides her eyes from Buffy’s face to the stage and the announcement. 

And then Buffy’s face crumples in that way a heartbroken kid’s does when they lose their ice cream. 

There are two homecoming queens and neither of them are Buffy. Or Cordelia.

Faith wants to laugh because it’s totally stupid, but Buffy’s pain stops the laugh from bubbling out. Buffy totally cares about this stupid shit… And, as it turns out, Faith cares that Buffy cares. Faith claps Buffy on the back.

“Hey B,” Faith says, smiling. “You ready to show this homecoming who’s boss?”

Buffy gives Faith a small smile, a defeated shrug.

“Why not?”

Faith swings around to face Buffy and they start dancing. Buffy looks stupid pretty with dirt smudged cheeks. 

“So what the hell is Slayer fest?” Faith yells over the music.

“I don’t think I wanna talk about it. Can we just dance? And maybe do that stud thing, that finding and using a couple studs thing you mentioned the other day?”

Faith laughs. Listening is not Faith’s strong suit. The seduction of studs is. So this works out.

“You know we can.”

Buffy says something that looks like “huh?” but Faith can’t hear. Buffy steps closer to Faith, and Faith steps closer to Buffy. 

Faith puts her mouth by Buffy’s ear.

“I’m ready if you are.”

Buffy blushes a bit.

“I don’t know if I meant it. Maybe Cordy and I should just go home and accept our crushing defeat.”

Faith looks around and sees Cordelia walking their way and giving Buffy a look that is both commiserating and furious. 

“What was that?!” Cordelia yells.

“Misery?” says Buffy.

Faith takes a step back. She’s not a part of this. Even though she wants to be. Cordelia and Buffy are bonding, hard. But then Cordelia is out the door, she barely broke stride to talk to Buffy. Faith gets it, they both need to cope, with losing… _homecoming queen_? Okay, maybe she doesn’t get it. 

“I think I need to get out of here,” Buffy yells into Faith’s ear.

Faith walks alongside Buffy, grabs her jacket off a chair on the way out.

“Want to go to the Bronze?” Faith asks.

“I was thinking I’d just head home.”

“You sure? What about stud-using? You don’t want to do some slaying, maybe?”

“Maybe…”

Faith gives Buffy some time to formulate, as they walk together. The night is warm and young. Faith certainly won’t be going home, but she hopes Buffy won’t either.

“Okay. Let’s go to the Bronze… It’s gonna be dead though, too many people at homecoming.” Buffy says.

“The deader the better. Or, what I mean is we bring the party. The party is where we are. And we are five-by-five.” Faith nods. It all makes sense, or enough sense.

“Thanks Faith.”

This makes Faith smile. Buffy is warming, softening to her. Faith knows Buffy didn’t like her at first. This change is good. Because Faith likes Buffy.

They walk in silence, arms swinging, almost touching. Faith gulps in the night air and lifts her palms up. She is ready to party.

At the Bronze they grab sodas (Buffy’s is diet) and sit in a corner, surveying. It _is_ pretty empty. The music that comes over the speakers is good, and echoes off unoccupied walls. 

“Wanna dance?” Faith asks.

They deposit their drinks and Faith takes Buffy’s hand, leads her onto the floor. Arms raised above her head, Faith shimmies close to Buffy. Buffy mimics the movement till they’re nose to nose. The feeling becomes magnetic for Faith, she wants closer. She leans in, breathes in Buffy.

Buffy laughs nervously, spins around. Spell broken. Distance between them regained. Faith looks Buffy up and down and sighs. There is something about Buffy.

They dance for a few more minutes before a couple of the scattered men at the Bronze approach them. Faith is almost offended… A couple minutes is an awful long time to dick around when you see babes like her and Buffy. Still, she turns and grabs the blonder guy by his collar. She grins at Buffy. Buffy looks her guy up and down, his dark brown hair and moderate swagger seem to be enticing enough because Buffy starts to dance with him. Faith watches her, Buffy’s abandon, the way she throws her head back. She must be really bummed about this homecoming thing…

Faith smiles at her guy, leans in close to him. He smells nice, earthy. He runs his hands up and down her hips, sways with her. Faith spins herself and her guy around and around so that she can make sure Buffy continues to be okay. So far, so good. Every time she spins, Buffy smiles at her. They are in it together. In on it. The stud-using game. And the studs seem more than happy about it. The next time Faith spins round, she sees Buffy talking to her guy. Asking his name, Faith thinks.

She hears him say “Peter.” Realizes she should probably ask her guy the same.

Faith stares at the guy. He’s kinda pretty.

“I’m Faith,” she says, sashaying closer. She leans her back onto his chest, rests her head by his neck, awaiting his name.

“Eli,” he murmurs. His voice is husky. Neither of them feel a need to say more. They dance closer and closer, his arms wrapping her up. It’s comforting and close. Buffy and Peter are much more chaste. There is always a ruler’s distance between the two, like they’re being monitored by a prudish school principal. It makes Faith smile. Buffy is so _innocent_ compared to the people Faith grew up around. Innocent seems like a worthwhile way to be, for the first time. I mean, Faith has no need for it, but she likes it on Buffy. It’s charming. 

For a minute, Faith turns to look at Eli. He smiles at her, with two prominent dimples. He must be in his twenties, much older than her, but he has a youthfulness that she relates to. For a second she wants to kiss him, but then the second passes. 

His hands stray to her butt, she lifts them back up to her waist. She leans away from him and stares into his eyes. Smirks, in a sexy way. Then she wriggles around so she’s facing Buffy again. 

“Wanna finish those drinks?” Buffy asks her, under the music.

Faith looks back at Eli.

“Thanks for the dance pal. Catch you later, alright?” She walks away, smiling at Eli. Eli returns the smile, a bit bewildered by his sudden abandonment. Faith still sees some hope in his face.

Buffy and Peter clasp hands, not quite a handshake, but close enough to make Faith snort.

“Faith… Thanks. I’m feeling like… slayer-girl again. At least, I’m not feeling like homecoming-reject-girl.” 

“Good. You know high school is pretty stupid. Perspective’s good.”

They arrive at their seats and clink plastic cups together. 

“You’ve been pretty good to me tonight. In return, I extend an olive branch and ask, do you have any more alligator wrestling stories?”

Faith laughs so hard that soda shoots out her nose. It’s incredibly uncomfortable.

“You mean naked alligator wrastling? I just had the one. But I have a bunch of other stories to make you blush.”

“Oh my. Why did I think this was smart?”

“Don’t ask me… But it’s started now… Would you like to hear about the time I defeated five vampires, also in the buff?”

“Why are you always naked?” Buffy asks, smiling, but hiding the smile behind her cup.

“That’s a long story, B.”

They both start giggling, Buffy puts a hand over her mouth and doubles over. Faith smacks the table. Their amusement spills out their nostrils, fills the space around them with gaiety. It’s so good to laugh with Buffy, even if Faith is mostly laughing at herself. But then she gets it, she’s not laughing at herself, she’s laughing at the two of them, at her own audaciousness, and Buffy’s reserve. It’s a sign of them beginning to understand one another.

And on that note, their night ends. Buffy stands up and heads for the door, pulling at Faith’s sleeve.

Buffy is yawning, pulling her beautiful dress up above her heels.

Faith finally realizes what a ludicrous pair they are, in their homecoming clothes, Buffy covered in dirt. Faith laughs again. A good night.

“You good to get home on your own?” Buffy asks.

Faith laughs. “Yeah B. I’m five-by-five.”

“Alright F.” Buffy says. “See you tomorrow for patrol?”

“Hell yeah you will.”

 


	2. In Which Buffy Gets Philosophical and Faith Helps

Buffy is at home, flossing her teeth. She bets Faith doesn’t floss. And that’s suddenly a very liberating idea. Buffy follows the rules, all the time. And she still gets kicked out of school. I mean sure, sometimes she burns down buildings, cuts some class. But she’s _saving the world_. So is Faith though (saving the world), but at least she isn’t flossing her teeth every night like a good girl. As Buffy throws her dental floss in the garbage can and spits out some blood, she wonders where this is coming from. Probably from the whole Angel thing. The whole, Angel secretly being alive thing. Because the fact she hasn’t told anybody seems like a rather bad girl thing to do. Faith-like?

Buffy ties her hair back, and heads to her bedroom. She should think more about this in the morning, after good old sleepy-time. Or, alternatively, not give it any thought. Just keep hiding Angel’s existence from everyone, keep rocking that unresolvable sexual tension, and  hope it all works out. As Buffy’s eyelids flutter closed and her body melts into her bed, option two sounds pretty good.

When Buffy wakes up, she has a headache. She had Angelus dreams all night. More memories than dreams. She wonders if she should tell someone. Faith, maybe? She gets up, pulls on some clothes for school. Brushes her hair. Maybe not Faith.

Last week, during Slayerfest, she got two guys to blow each other up. Two human guys. It _was_ a her or them situation, but it’s still got her wigging out. She has never killed a human before. Maybe she could talk to Faith about that. Because for now, Buffy knows that she’s got to keep Angel to herself. Wants to keep him for herself.

She looks at the clock. Running late. She grabs her bag and thunders down the stairs. 

“Breakfast, Buffy?” Joyce calls from the kitchen.

“Sorry mom, running late.” Buffy says over her shoulder as she lunges out the door.

“Oh Buffy! Breakfast is such an important meal…” 

Buffy is pretty sure the mom-ing continues, but she can’t hear the rest. She’s already down the block. It’s sunny and Buffy starts sweating as she sprints to class.

She makes it in, just before the bell and slams down into a seat beside Willow. Who looks uncharacteristically blue.

“You okay, Will?” Buffy whispers.

The teacher hushes her, and Buffy looks up at the front. Then starts spacing out. It’s very boring, this English literature stuff.

The bell rings and she’s off to another boring class.

“Will, really, are you okay?” Buffy asks again.

“I’m kind of, really… I don’t know… Talk about it later?” Will asks.

“Sure thing Will.”

Boring class number two complete and then it’s lunchtime.

Buffy grabs an assortment of things from the vending machine and heads to the library. Giles is there, polishing his glasses. He sighs.

“Buffy, how many times must I… This is a library. No food.”

“I know, but I felt a need to get some training in.”

“Couldn’t you have eaten first?” Giles stares at her, she stares back. “Oh, why do I bother?”

She grins. She pops open a diet coke and starts sipping.

Sitting on the tabletop, breathing in old book smell. This is the comfort she needs. The library doors slam open, ear-explodingly loud.

It’s Faith.

“Faith? You seem to spend a lot of time here… Seeing as you aren’t even a student.” Buffy says, her eyebrow arched.

“Yeah yeah… I was getting restless. Willow saw you coming here. Thought you’d probably need a punching partner. Channel some of last week’s pretty amazing rage.”

“What rage?” Buffy asks, all fake innocent. Immediately regrets asking.

“Oh I don’t know, the whole crushing loss thing. No homecoming queen?”

“Oh yeah, now I feel it.” Buffy deposits her pile of snacks, leaps up, fists ready.

“That’s my girl.” Faith grabs some equipment from the storage room, gets ready to be punched.

“Ladies, might I remind you that this is a school library?” Giles says. “What if someone, say a student, were to come in and see you fighting?”

“Giles, Giles, Giles.” Faith shakes her head, in fake pity. “When do teenagers ever come into the _library_? Let’s be real.”

Giles slumps into a chair, for the moment defeated. But he smiles at the two of them, in that comfortingly paternal way. That indulgent way, that Buffy needs so very much.

After some excellent sparring that leaves Faith and Buffy sweaty and pink-cheeked, Buffy decides to talk to Faith.

Later.

Buffy whispers across the room:

“Could we meet up and talk tonight?”

Giles perks his head up from his book, for the first time. Because no teenagers have entered the library in the entire half hour.

“Would the two of you mind terribly if you made a habit of patrolling together? Two slayers are better than one, I should think. And I like the idea of the two of you keeping each other safe…” Giles rubs his glasses quite hard, as if embarrassed to reveal any kind of worry.

“Faith?” Buffy asks.

“I’m in if you are. You know I like your style.” Faith nods.

“Alright, Giles, wish granted.”

“Thank you girls.” He says, nodding his head in a solemn way.

“So what do you want to talk about?” Faith asks.

“Girl stuff… Let’s wait till Giles isn’t around.” Buffy says.

“I am more than happy not to be involved with said ‘girl stuff.’” Giles says.

“Alright, catch you later Slayer.” Faith says, smiling. She heads out the door with a swish of her curly brown hair and a twitch of her nice butt. Whoa… That thought came from nowhere. Buffy shakes her head, hoping to dislodge it. But she can’t help but appreciate Faith’s swagger. It really is growing on her. The cockiness that Buffy at first found so annoying, is slowly becoming exhilarating, comforting. Mostly because Faith has turned out to be a surprisingly good friend. The first person Buffy will talk to about the killing humans thing. She knows Giles would be a good candidate too, it’s just that he would find the whole subject very serious and sombre, and Buffy’s not ready for that yet.

So Buffy eats the rest of her snacks, as Giles looks disapproving. She deposits her garbage in the can and heads back to class.

 

************

This time Faith picks Buffy up from her place. Faith is excited. Slaying with Buffy is almost as good as slaying with Diana. Well, it’s different, but really really nice. Faith knocks on the door. Joyce answers it, wearing a flattering yet motherly dress.

“Hello Faith. How lovely to see you.” Joyce gestures with her arm, inviting Faith in. Faith enters, leans against the doorframe. She scuffs her toes against the floor as she waits.

“Buffy should be right down.” Joyce says. “Giles told me about you two patrolling together. I must say, I’m very pleased. The safer the better. This whole slaying business, well I don’t like that it’s left to people as young as you. It’s just so… dangerous.” Joyce stares at Faith as she speaks, looks really sad.

“Well, it’s that whole ‘Chosen’ thing… Kinda hard to get around.” Faith shrugs.

“I know. It’s all so…” Joyce runs out of words, gazes up the stairs. They both wait in silence for Buffy to appear. Which she does. She’s got her hair tied back in a pony tail and is wearing sweatpants. Very practical slaying attire.

“Don’t stay out too late.” Joyce says, and laughs. Faith feels a pang of sadness. Don’t mothers usually get to impose curfews? Not Joyce. Not a slayer’s mom.

Buffy kisses Joyce on the cheek and Buffy and Faith head out.

“So, something is definitely up between Willow and Xander.” Buffy blurts. She looks almost like Cordelia when she’s filled with gossip. Her eyes are animated in delight.

“What?” Faith asks, though she’s not too curious as to what, really, is up.

“Not exactly sure. Willow wouldn’t tell me. But she was hugely mopey after school, kept insisting she and Xander were just the worst people.”

This makes sense. They were acting weird at homecoming too. Faith knows exactly what must have happened, but decides not to rat them out to Buffy. Instead just says, “huh.”

“So is that the ‘girl stuff’?” Faith asks.

They’re winding their way to one of Sunnydale’s innumerable cemeteries. Buffy’s got her stake in her pant’s pocket and Faith is twirling hers between her fingers… Like a really morbid baton.

“That was just a cover actually.” Buffy says.

“Oh… So what did you really want to talk about?”

Buffy takes a big huge breath, puffs up her chest. She looks as if she is steeling herself, shoring up the requisite bravery to talk.

“I killed a human, two. I mean I made them kill each other, but still. Humans.” Buffy says it all at once, a jumble of panicked words.

Faith leaps over the cemetery fence, looks back at Buffy.

“When?”

“They were part of Slayerfest.”

Faith sighs. Buffy’s still outside the fence. She looks unsure, timid. Faith grabs Buffy’s hand to hoist her over. 

“Okay… So what’s the big?” Faith asks. “I mean, we are killers. That is actually our job. It’s our job title, even. ‘Slayer,’ ring any bells?”

“Yeah, but that’s for vampires, demons. It’s all very black and white.” Buffy protests.

“Whatever you say B.” Faith stares at her. She weighs the information. “But, this was a kill or be killed scenario, right?”

“Yes.” Buffy nods.

Faith sits down on a headstone, and Buffy sits on the grass beside her.

“Is it black and white?” Faith asks. “Anyway?”

“Well… Okay, so Angel… Maybe it’s not so black and white all the time. The whole vampires and demons with souls thing… But darn if it isn’t tough.”

Faith laughs but cuts the laugh short. She just can’t resist a little. Buffy is so damn adorable.

“I just like having lines. Clear lines, and when I stay within them, I am fine. I am good. I’m… I don’t know… a hero? Is that too corny? Maybe I take it back.”

“That is the perfect amount of corny.” Faith laughs. “But I definitely don’t get the big here.”

“Maybe there is no big.” Buffy shrugs.

“Sorry B.” Faith feels guilty. Like she failed at the listening thing. “Keep talking.”

“I’m just in a confusing place. I haven’t felt like hero-girl for a while now.”

Faith jumps off the headstone and sits beside Buffy. Being hands-on is Faith’s forte, so why not try it now? She puts her arm around Buffy’s shoulders and pulls Buffy in, so that Buffy’s head is cradled in Faith’s neck.

“Thanks.” Buffy says, her voice muffled by Faith’s hair. Faith feels something warm and wet and realizes Buffy is crying into her shoulder. Faith rests her chin on the top of Buffy’s head. “I just kind of don’t know what I’m doing.” Buffy says, swiping a hand across her eyes.

Faith turns Buffy around, a hand on either shoulder, so that they are facing each other.

“Want to just run with it?”

“Huh?”

“I mean, we’re super young. Being stupid is our right.” Faith shrugs, and because she’s holding Buffy’s shoulders, she makes Buffy shrug too.

“That is an interesting theory.” Buffy says, smiling crookedly.

“And… I think we should try to do at least three more stupid things tonight.” Faith says, very serious.

“What would those be?”

Faith looks around, and notices that there are two vampires circling them.

“I think not paying any attention while sitting in a Sunnydale cemetery might be number one.” Faith says, she leaps up, and guides Buffy up with her.

“Oh god.” Buffy slaps her forehead with her palm. 

They position themselves back to back, watching the approaching vampires.

Let the ass kicking commence.

Vampires are usually stupid, which is a great advantage. The two are stumbling in an uncoordinated way, not working together at all. They’ll be almost too easy to dust. Buffy bumps her elbow against Faith’s as a signal. Buffy lunges for one as Faith lunges for the other.

Faith really goes for it this time, works out some of that rage… All that rage she always seems to have. She jumps on him, knocks him to the ground and starts punching. Lots and lots of punching. For Diana. And for herself.

Her fists are actually getting sore from all this violence.

“Um Faith?” Buffy says. 

Faith pauses in her pummelling. 

“Do you need my stake?”

“Oh, I got this B.” Faith takes her stake and dusts the vampire, suddenly noticing his frightened eyes. Black and white her butt. She just killed a sentient being. She stands up, a shiver running through her body. 

“Normally we don’t play with them so much, before the dusting.” Buffy says. Her voice is skeptical and disapproving.

“Anger issues…” Faith trails off, shrugs. 

Buffy nods, seems to accept this inadequate answer. Then she stares at Faith, a long stare, the searching type. A flash of sadness appears to cross Buffy’s face, maybe pity. But before Faith can discern it, it’s gone. 

“So what’s stupid thing number two?” Buffy asks.

“Hmmmm… Let’s make number two more light breezy fun.” Faith says.

“I’m way okay with that.”

“Follow me.” Faith says, and strides through the cemetery. Buffy catches up to her and they walk side by side. They get out onto the street and find a convenience store, open all night. It’s lights flash on and off across it’s deserted parking lot. They enter together and Faith heads for the freezers. Faith grabs some eggs, walks nonchalantly out of the store. It’s so casual that Buffy almost doesn’t notice. Then she scrunches up her nose. They’re already a block away.

“Hey, you stole those.” Buffy says, full of indignation.

“I sure did.” Faith nods. “Now do you have anyone you think really sucks? And know where they live?”

Faith’s brush off of her stealing seems to throw Buffy, she offers no further protest.

“Well, Scott isn’t exactly in my good books right now.”

“Excellent. I wish I’d thought of that.” Faith nods. “Let’s go.” 

Buffy leads the way to his house. They wind through quiet streets with dim streetlights. Sunnydale is so lifeless at night… So undead.

“What are we going to do?” Buffy asks, staring right into Faith’s eyes again. Buffy stops in front of a suburban looking little house. She gestures at it. Faith stops too, faces down her target.

“I thought that would be obvious.” Faith grins. “We’re going to do the immature, but definitely best thing. Egg his house.”

“Oh god. I feel so bad that I really _really_ want to.” Buffy grins. It certainly doesn’t look like she feels guilty. “Give me an egg?”

“Of course. It’s only right that the wronged-woman get the first egg.” Faith opens the carton, passes Buffy a beautiful white sphere of destruction.

Buffy throws it, given her super strength, probably too hard. When it explodes on the side of Scott’s generic white house, it splashes far and wide. 

“You almost covered his entire house with one egg. I’m impressed B.”

“Your turn.”

Faith pulls her arms back, lets the egg loose. She throws just slightly less hard, and her explosion is all the less spectacular. Still, a good chunk of house is now covered. Buffy aims again, this time for Scott’s car. Or his parents’ car. Who knows. It’s a sturdy looking plymouth, now covered in egg. The lights in Scott’s house are out, and remain out. Which is a bit disappointing.

Buffy winds up again, this time throws more softly, at Scott’s window. Now the lights come on. 

“Run now.” Faith says, tossing the carton onto Scott’s driveway. They both run, skid out of view, as they hear someone opening Scott’s front door.

They run for ages, till Faith’s thighs can actually feel the exertion. So it must be at least a mile or two. They’ve ended up in the Bronze’s area. They’re both laughing, laughing, sweating, running. It’s a good combo. Good trifecta? Giggling, they collapse together on a curb. 

“That was just what I needed.” Buffy says. “Thanks again Faith.”

“No need to thank me. You know I love this shit.” Faith beams.

“What’s stupid thing number three?” Buffy asks.

Faith has an idea. But she knows that this thing is mostly stupid for _her_ to do. She did promise three things, and damn it, she’s going to deliver. She stares at Buffy. Which makes this third idiocy much easier. Buffy’s brow is slick with sweat, her ponytail damp. She smells of fighting, of cemetery dirt. She looks fantastic.

So Faith does stupid thing number three.

She leans her face towards Buffy’s, she cups Buffy’s cheek in her hand. Faith closes her eyes at the last second and kisses Buffy. Buffy’s lips are frozen for a few moments, and Faith gets nervous. But then Buffy kisses back. She runs her hands through Faith’s hair and kisses back.

Faith slowly, gently breaks the kiss, their lips sticking together as they part. 

“Tada. Stupid thing number three.” Faith whispers. 

Buffy’s eyes look glazed over. Like she has no idea what just happened. Or, optimistically, like she’s high off some A-grade kissing…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping to upload a chapter a week! Stay tuned for more Fuffy? Baith? 
> 
> Fuffy. Stay tuned for more Fuffy ;)


	3. In Which a Little Bit Happens

And then Buffy laughs. It’s not a good reaction. It’s not a bad reaction. But at least it is _a_ reaction. After so many seconds of Buffy staring at nothing, Faith wasn’t sure.

“Faith you are… I don’t know what you are.” Buffy taps her chin, pensive. “But it’s fun.”

Faith laughs as well. She smacks Buffy on the back in a companionable way. For a second Faith feels kind of embarrassed and her thoughts get muddled. Why did she kiss Buffy? She knows _why_. But still, why?

Buffy puts a hand on Faith’s arm, holding it against her back, so Faith’s companionable slap turns into a half hug. Buffy leans her head against Faith.

“That was unexpected.” Buffy says.

“Are we good?” Faith says.

Buffy looks at Faith and Faith gulps. A mischievous glint lights up Buffy’s face as she grins.

“Yeah Faith. We’re five-by-five.”

With that, Buffy collapses laughing on Faith’s lap.

Faith didn’t anticipate this much laughter. 

Well, if she’s honest, she didn’t think far enough ahead to anticipate anything. She just wanted some Buffy kissing. And it was pretty electric. The slayer has yet to disappoint.

“I think you’ve cheered me up.” Buffy says. “Congratulations on the very good friend-age.”

The word friend, even after going through one of Buffy’s linguistic transformations, makes Faith rankle. She didn’t lay her moves on Buffy to solidify their _friendship_. Although, the purpose of Faith’s moves remain abstract to Faith herself.

“Same to you, little miss slayer.” Faith nods. “Sunnydale would be a whole lot of awful without you.”

“Sunnydale is kinda impossible to redeem, even with me. But thanks Faith.”

“You have a point B. But it would be even more boring… even worse. Sunnyhell for real.”

Now Buffy punches Faith’s shoulder, mirroring Faith’s earlier nervous back slap.

Stomach sinking, Faith feels an uh-oh feeling. She might have jumped the gun on the kissing. Because everything feels kind of awkward. The cool is quickly leaving them, disappearing somewhere in the Sunnydale night.

Faith stands up and puts out a hand for Buffy. Buffy takes it and leaps up.

Faith takes in her surroundings for the first time since the kiss. The Bronze is pretty busy. Maybe that should be their final stop.

She stares at Buffy and Buffy stares at her. Faith reaches out and brushes Buffy’s hair back. Buffy looks up coyly from under her eyelashes. That’s more like it.

“Shall we?” Faith says, gesturing to the Bronze with her thumb.

Buffy smiles. But all of a sudden her smile is gone and her eyes go extra big.

“I forgot something… I’m sorry but I gotta go.” Buffy says.

“Want me to come with? What’s up?”

“I’d love it if you came. But I gotta do this on my own. Sorry Faith.”

“Nah, that’s cool B.” Faith smiles too wide, hoping to swallow her disappointment. It’s not quite working. “Tomorrow night, patrol? My place?”

“It’s a date.” Buffy says. She scrunches her nose cutely. “Bye Faith.”

Buffy darts away. The street is crowded enough that Faith can’t even follow Buffy with her eyes.

Faith shrugs. All in all, a pretty good night. Buffy’s coy “It’s a date” swirls around Faith’s head and settles there. The words propel happy feelings through Faith’s body. She is energized, hyperactive. Ready to dance.

She heads into the Bronze solo. 

Cordelia is there, sitting by herself, pouting at the room. But sexy pouting. She’s scoping things out.

“Hey,” Faith hops onto the stool across from Cordelia. Cordelia sighs through her nose. 

“Oh, it’s you.” Cordelia lifts her drink and sips through her straw. “What are you so happy about?”

Faith beams.

“Nothin. Just got some good slaying in.”

“Oh yuck.”

**************

 

Buffy is skidding through the streets of good ol’ Sunnyhell. She is ecstatic. She’s running so fast she’s making her own wind, buffeting her ponytail around. The night is fresh and warm and yummy. She ducks into an alleyway and grabs a paper bag that had been left for her earlier, _Buffy_ scrawled across it. She tucks it under her arm and runs on.

Buffy needed that. And it felt good. But she can’t really tell if it felt good to be kissing Faith, or to be kissing someone… Because she couldn’t kiss Angel. It was a happy feeling, but she didn’t really understand it. 

Where did the kiss come from? Friends don’t really kiss like that. She’d never kissed Willow. Or Cordelia… If Cordelia was her friend… The point is, that’s not a thing she is used to. What did it mean? Kisses, in Buffy’s albeit limited experience, usually mean something. 

She hadn’t kissed a girl before. She never wanted to. Her perspective on girl kissing is suddenly much more positive than it was.

Buffy is wrapped up in these whirling swirling thoughts, leaping over obstacles without even noticing what they are. It’s convenient to have a slayer’s athletic ability, when you want to run really fast without having to pay attention.

She sprints possibly a bit too fast, because she gets to Angel’s before she’s ready. She skids to a halt and enters his temporary abode.

The house is shadowy, and Angel emerges from the dark. It’s probably his favourite activity. Shadow emerging. Buffy almost laughs, catches herself, snorts instead.

“I thought you were coming a while ago.” Angel says, a half-question, half statement.

“Sorry, got held up.” Buffy shrugs. “Giles wants me to patrol with Faith pretty much every night.”

Angel nods at her. Smiles one of his perpetually melancholic smiles. He looks so good, in spite of the sadness. His skin is alabaster and smooth, his shirt is half unbuttoned. She wants to run her hands over that chest. But that’s forbidden now.

“How are you Buffy?” Angel asks, stepping towards her. She approaches him. “You look happier than I’ve seen you in a while.”

“I’m good.” And she means it. “Faith is fun… And I need some fun right now.”

She sits down cross-legged on the floor. His place is rather under-furnished. Angel leans on a pillar nearby, looks at her with curious eyes.

“You do. That’s good Buffy.” 

“How are you doing? How’s the sanity? Are you feeling… something resembling good?”

Angel looks down at her. His brow is furrowed. He is a mixture of confused and blue. The sadness can be explained by his recent return from torture in a hell dimension. His confusion Buffy finds harder to place.

“I’m alright Buffy,” he says. “I’m glad to see you so happy. It shouldn’t feel this surprising though.” He slides down the pillar till he is also sitting on the floor. 

“It’s been a hard year Angel. It’s okay to be angsty about it… Although, maybe we should try to be a bit less.” Buffy shrugs at him.

“You’ve got that right.” Angel says.

Buffy reaches out her hand and rests it on Angel’s knee. It feels so perfect there. It belongs there. Every time she touches him she feels that spark of love. The feeling is tinged with fear though. 

“Buffy,” Angel looks down, gently moves Buffy’s hand, places it back in her own lap.

“I know… We need to be careful.” Buffy sighs. Being careful is hard. And it sucks.

“We do.” Angel says. “Are you going to tell the others I’m back?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t. It’s not going to go well, if I do. But I hate lying to Giles. To Willow and Xander. I don’t know what to do.”

She hangs her head. 

“Neither do I Buffy.”

When Angel admits that he’s lost too, Buffy feels better. She’s just so glad that she’s not the only one who is utterly confused.

Buffy looks down and notices the paper bag, set beside her.

“I almost forgot the purpose of my visit.” She hands him the bag.

Angel opens it and retrieves several containers of blood. It’s human blood. Willy the snitch may be a snitch, but he is a good resource. Buffy has come to rely on him, for things like human blood that fell off the… human blood truck. She is pretty sure he gets it from the blood bank. Normally she gets pig blood from the butcher, but Angel has been so weak and so low, she thought she’d pull out all the stops. 

Now that she’s performed the gesture though, she’s a bit regretful. Angel’s eyes light up as he tears the lid off. His demon takes over his face and Buffy flinches. He takes a huge swig and blood dribbles down his chin when he looks up. Watching a seeming human turn vamp and drink a big old jug of blood is actually damn gross. And especially horrifying when it’s Angel.

Angel puts down the container, still half full.

“I’m sorry Buffy. I’m really hungry.”

“It’s okay.” Buffy chokes out. But it isn’t. 

“This is human blood… I appreciate it.” He nods to her. 

“I better get going. Good night Angel.” She gets up. Angel follows her up, wipes the blood from his chin. 

“Good night Buffy.” He puts a hand out to her, but this time it is her who shies away from the touch.

She smiles at him, it feels like a grimace.

She turns and walks out of the curtains Angel uses in place of a door. Having an addled en-souled vampire as an (ex)boyfriend is very complicated. And as it turns out, watching blood go down someone’s throat is unpalatable no matter how pretty that throat is.

Walking home alone, Buffy starts to cry. Her tears pool in her eyes and don’t quite fall out. She shivers, tries to shake the sadness off. The night started out much better than this.


	4. In Which Faith Sees Strange Things

Faith is attempting to shower. The water flows  both weak and cold. She bangs the shower head hopefully. No luck. So she breaks the shower head off the wall. Cool water cascades over her body. Much better. She admires her workmanship, the gaping hole, and lathers up. She’s using lavender soap, because she stole some on a whim. It smells prim and reminds her of Buffy.

She closes her eyes and inhales the flecks of water. It begins to warm up. Thank god. 

She turns off the tap and exits the shower, shaking her hair out over the drain. 

Buffy should be here soon, for their “It’s a date.”

Faith saunters into her motel room, naked. The air in here is fresh, since she’s got the wind coming through a cracked window. She rummages around her duffel bag, draws out a black tank. Getting dressed, Faith smiles at herself in a dingy mirror. She’s managed to find even tighter jeans than usual. She lipsticks her mouth and pouts at the mirror. The seconds are moving too slowly. When will Buffy arrive?

Faith bounces on the balls of her bare feet, feeling a need to move. Instead, she plops down on the bed. She grabs a Playboy magazine she stole off of some sleazy looking dude. It gave her a lot of pleasure to snatch it from his hands and to shake her head at him disapprovingly. She flips through it, idly curious about the pictures, but remaining cool and blasé. She sees the appeal of these magazines, but you cannot beat the real thing, in her opinion. That is to say, flesh on sweaty flesh. She discards it. Waits. Waits.

Her eyes get heavy as she waits, and she dozes off.

When she wakes up, the sky through her curtain is black. The night is fully underway. And Buffy is not here.

What the hell? 

Did Buffy just stand  her up?

Faith wipes her eyes and lolls out of bed. Then her irritation makes her alert. Faith does not get stood up, ever. This is not right.

She pulls open the door and heads out. To Willy’s Bar. Because anger makes Faith need to dance, and drink, cause some trouble. Even though Willy’s Bar isn’t known for dancing, she can’t risk running into Buffy at the Bronze. Standing Faith up. Faith will just have to bring the party. She strides down the outdoor stairs and into the parking lot. The stars are twinkling obnoxiously bright. She shakes her head at them. 

The night air covers her bare arms in goosebumps. She shakes her still damp hair,  letting the light wind catch it. She wanders through street after street, each one empty and silent. Until suddenly it isn’t empty. She sees Joyce, and is that Giles? And are they?

What the hell?

Faith cocks her head to one side. Joyce is sitting on the hood of a car with her legs wrapped around Giles. They are making out. They are also possibly fucking. What the hell?

Faith feels like her brain might be on the fritz. All she can think is “What the hell.” Then again, so far it has been that kind of a night. Giles is wearing a white t-shirt, and holding a lit cigarette in his hand. A hand which is holding Joyce’s head protectively. They don’t notice Faith as she walks by, doing a double and triple take. She is having trouble looking away. It’s just so weird. She can see Joyce’s tongue darting into Giles ’ mouth. Giles ’ hips are thrusting. When Joyce fishes a pair of handcuffs from her clothes, Faith turns her head. She wonders if she’s dreaming. She is passing right by Joyce and Giles and neither notice her. Maybe she is invisible. She shakes her head. Fucking bizarre. 

Instead of lingering by this weird  middle-aged fuck fest like a peeping tom-ette, she continues on her way to Willy’s Bar. Now she doubly needs to dance, to shake off her anger and forget whatever the hell she just saw. It doesn’t totally gross her out, both Joyce and Giles are pretty babe-ish for old people… But it makes much too little sense. She is disquieted by it. 

She shakes her head again, this time to fluff up her drying curls.

When she arrives at the bar it is packed. Willy’s is never packed. And not only is it full, but it is full of middle aged humans. She sees a doctor type with her stethoscope around her neck. The older woman ensnares an older guy with the stethoscope and starts grinding up against him. Faith is thoroughly nonplussed. She approaches the bar, forcing people out of her path with at least some violence. None of the rowdy old folks even notice.

“What the hell is up with this crowd?” Faith asks Willy. She props her elbows on the bar and watches Willy clean a glass. He shrugs, frowns a little.

“Couldn’t tell ya. Great business though.” His confused frown turns into a smile. “What can I do ya for?”

“Tequila shots… several… surprise me with the number.” Faith says, looking out over the room. She spares a single glance for Willy, who nods at her. 

“Your wish is my command.”

Something is very fishy in Sunnydale tonight. Faith doesn’t know whether she will investigate or not. When she turns back to the counter, Willy has placed a row of four shots in front of her.

She beams and nods at him. She fishes some dollar bills from her back pocket and slams them on the counter. Willy rifles through them, seems satisfied that it resembles the right amount, and pops them in the till.

“Those all for you?” he asks.

“Damn right.” Faith says. She surveys the tequila. It’s been too long since she’s been drunk. The Scoobies don’t drink at all, and she’s trying very hard to be a good little girl and  _ fit in _ . Or she was, till Buffy stood her up. “Any lime for me? And where’s my salt?”

Willy scratches his head for a moment. He ducks behind the counter and comes up with a lime. He slices it into quarters and plops one across the top of each glass.

“I don’t got salt.” Willy shrugs, and walks off. Faith mimics his shrug. A lime will have to do. 

She takes the first shot, relishing the burn that travels down her throat, and squirts lime juice into her mouth. She stares at the other shots, determinedly. Then she takes them all so fast a passerby would have seen little more than the blur of her arm. She sticks a slice of lime between her teeth and bites into it. Discarding the rind in a pile of limes, Faith turns toward the floor. The middle aged vibes are really making this hard. At least they are all dancing. Willy’s is not necessarily a dancing place. She looks around for non-human patrons. There are a couple vampire looking types leaning against the corner of the bar. A male and female, in matching plaid shirts and black jeans. They’re both eyeing up the patrons in a hungry way. She might have to teach them some manners later. 

She stands up and heads toward the dart board. Despite four shots, Faith is thoroughly sober and will continue to be. Her slayer constitution (and excessive drinking habits) mean that her tolerance is relatively high. Next round is gonna be on somebody else though.

There is a strange looking demon chick by the dartboard, with spikes ringing her forehead. Her skin is warm blue, and her fingers appear to be webbed. She perks up when Faith walks towards her.

“You wanna play?” the demon’s voice is high pitched and girly. Faith raises her eyebrow. Not what she expected.

“If you’re ready to get beat, then yeah I do.” Faith beams at the demon and sweeps up all the darts from the board. She hands the demon the green darts and keeps the red. 

“Humans first,” the demon squeaks, her black eyes full of mischief. Like Buffy’s eyes, except inhuman and freaky.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Faith nods and makes her first throw. Bullseye. Second throw, bullseye. Third, predictably, bullseye.

“You’re good.” says the demon. “And I’m Ilse.” the demon throws out the introduction as she makes her first shot. She knocks one of Faith’s darts from its bullseye position and replaces it there. The move is flawless. Ilse knows what she’s doing.

“Call me F.” Faith says, feeling protective of her identity. But then a sad feeling deflates her. That’s a name Buffy uses. Not this Ilse chick.

Ilse nods. She eyes Faith up and down, making Faith shiver.

“I can see that we’re both quite good. Wanna make it more interesting, go around the world?” Ilse says.

“What?” Faith has no idea what that means.

“It’s a variation on the game, we need to hit each segment, from one to twenty in number order. Then the bullseye.”

“Why not?” Faith nods. “But what do I get when I win?”

“What are you drinking, my dear? Winner gets a drink.” 

“Works for me.”

Faith again gathers up the darts, scooping one of hers off the sticky, beer spattered floor. 

“Demons first,” she says, before Ilse can speak up.

They begin. Throwing three darts at a time, they move flawlessly. If Faith is good at anything, it must be pub games. She feels sweat beading on her temple. She wipes it away with the back of her fist. The board has been half traversed. She aims for the nine. And misses. Damn. She hit the black sliver of twelve instead. Next shot she gets nine. Ilse will never miss. The game is as good as lost. And Faith hates losing.

Ilse rolls up her sleeves to reveal arms that are tattooed in black ink. She takes aim, makes three perfect shots. The game continues. Faith examines Ilse. For a demon, she’s strangely beautiful. Faith wonders how dangerous she is. Probably very. All the better. 

The game is almost done and Faith is still losing. But suddenly, Ilse misses a shot. A shot she shouldn’t have missed, given her obvious skill. Faith looks at her from the corner of her eye. Ilse smiles at her, revealing a mouth full of little fangs. Ilse misses again.

Faith turns away, looks around the room. Still full of old folks. The vampires continue to lean in the corner, looking around at everyone. An old woman is dancing on the bar top, snaking her bra out from under her dress. Room looks ready to blow. Too many people, too many demons. Faith hopes for chaos.

It’s her turn, the last round now. She feels sudden confidence, inspired by the nervous, frenetic energy of this place. She makes the bullseye. Looks at Ilse expectantly.

“You’ve won.” Ilse says, nodding at the board.

“I did…?” Faith  quirks her head.

“It’s like a race to the bullseye and you got it.”

Faith shrugs. She’s not gonna contest a victory. Walking toward the bar, Ilse pulls a wallet from the pocket of her faded jeans. Faith sees the way Ilse swishes her hips as she walks, it’s a flirty walk, Faith knows it well. Ilse wants Faith to watch her. Faith follows after, again pushing people out of her way with more than the necessary force. This time, people start moving out of her way as she approaches. Damn right. 

She leans at the counter beside Ilse. 

“Tequila, was it?” Ilse asks.

“Yeah… how did you?” Faith forms half the question.

Ilse waves her hand. 

“I’m observant.”

Ilse had already placed the order and Willy deposits four more shots on the table. 

“Pretty generous.” Faith says, eyebrow raised.

Ilse clinks a glass of something murky and pungent smelling against one of Faith’s shots. 

“Cheers.”

Faith shrugs. This time Willy remembered the lime. Faith does the shots one after the other. She takes a moment in between each one to tip the glass toward Ilse and smile. When she’s done, she mutters thanks to Ilse and heads out to dance. 

Shoving her way through middle aged and old folks she makes an adequate dancing radius for herself. The older people are all grinding up on each other. She sees several couples making out, plus a bunch of very flirty three-man sandwiches. The world has really gone crazy. She closes her eyes, tries to isolate the sound of the music, to find the rhythm. Got it. She opens her eyes and starts dancing on her own. It takes a lot of swagger to dance on one’s own, part of why she does it.

When she spins toward the bar she sees Ilse has sidled up behind her. Ilse takes Faith’s hand and spins her again. She draws Faith in close to her chest at the end of the spin. Faith smiles into Ilse’s disconcerting black eyes. 

Ilse smiles close-mouthed this time and leans in towards Faith. Ilse smells like the sea, like Faith imagines a shark might smell. Ilse brushes her lips against Faith’s and they are cold. Faith closes her eyes. She presses into the kiss. Ilse strokes her hands through Faith’s curls. Faith’s head becomes foggy. This is better than good, it’s disorienting. It’s… Faith can’t think, she just kisses and kisses Ilse, whose arms are now wrapped tightly around Faith’s waist. Faith tries to break the kiss, can’t, can’t move. The feeling is heady, in a way that makes Faith wary. But it’s like her mind is slowing down, like she’s been drugged. Ilse breaks the kiss and winks at Faith.

“Crazy night in Sunnydale.” Ilse says. “See you around, slayer.”

Ilse releases Faith from her grasp and walks away. Walks through the people and out the back door of Willy’s Bar. Faith shakes her head, tries to move. Still can’t move. The world is spinning a bit. She needs to follow Ilse. Faith is pretty sure. She moves slowly, shuffles through the people. When she reaches the alleyway it is deserted. Faith’s senses are reeling. She feels dull. Her vision is blurred and she hears each sound as if she’s under water. She clutches her head. Piercing pain flares up in her temple. How did Ilse know she was a slayer? The thought comes piecemeal into Faith’s head, she can barely conceptualize it. But again she is unsettled. Who is Ilse, how did she know, and where the hell is she now? Or at least some thoughts vaguely resembling those bob along in Faith’s head. She’s underwater and she can’t see and she can’t think. And so of course, the vampires from the bar decide to pay her a visit.

They come up behind her. One clamps an icy hand over her mouth. She recognizes his dried blood smell from the bar. His black jeans are caked in it, the colour camouflaging the blood from a layman’s eye. 

“Hey there pretty lady,” he whispers into her neck. 

“We better get out of here, Willy will be real mad if we kill someone in his alleyway honey…” the female one says.

“If we quit town though, it doesn’t matter what Willy thinks.” the male vampire says. Faith hears his irritability. They lower their voices and continue to argue. Normally Faith would be able to hear, but she can’t make out the sounds, because of the muddle that is her head. She squirms and tries to worm out of his grasp, but she can’t. Her whole body feels weak and useless. Think… Think… Think… She commands herself. 

She takes a moment to try to right her head, to make the world stop spinning. With all her focus, she’s able to do it. She has a thin, short stake in her pocket, in case of emergency. She sneaks it out, grips it in her fist. The two vampires are still having a whispered argument. Got to love dysfunctional relationships. She takes a deep breath, accidentally inhaling the smell of the vampire’s hand. It’s so dead and earthy. For a second she thinks she might puke. Holds it back. Readies her unsteady mind. She elbows him as hard as she can in the gut. 

As hard as she can is pretty damn hard. He staggers back. She rounds on him and his lady. 

“You picked the wrong chick…” she says, her voice sluggish. “To mess with.”

She hopes that that is true. But she’s still unsteady. Her odds are not looking great. She crouches, gets ready to dust their asses. They look at each other with shocked faces. But then the guy smiles and his girlfriend catches his confidence. They circle her, and both punch her at once. She blocks the female one’s punch, but the guy’s lands, knocking the wind from her gut. She punches back, at the guy. It crunches into his jaw. She moved fast enough to take him by surprise. He holds a hand to his face, swearing. But his girlfriend has landed a punch as Faith is distracted. She looks down at the fist that has connected with her solar plexus. Ouch. Faith edges backwards. She should probably run. She backs up some more and collides with a human shape. Damn it. She is not having good luck tonight. She turns around. The guy is tall and dark haired. He wears a sullen frown. He gives off some demon vibes, but she can’t be sure.

“Need help?” he asks her.

“Nah. I’m five-by-five,” she says, her voice a bit breathless. 

He ignores her and steps in front of her, shielding. She notices that while he’s kind of imposing, he is shaking all over. Chivalry’s all well and good, but he’s gonna get killed. 

Except the two vampires have backed up. They look afraid. They bow their heads. 

“Sorry… We’re going… We didn’t mean anything by it.” The woman says. Her boyfriend nods vigorously. 

“We’ll just be off then,” the guy says. And then they start running. Not the response Faith had foreseen at all. 

“What was that?” Faith asks. “Who are you?”

“Just a friend,” he says. Faith hates it when people are cryptic. 

“Whose friend?” She scowls at him. 

“You’re a slayer aren’t you?” he asks back. 

Her scowl deepens all the more. She crosses her arms against her chest. She is not answering that one.

“If you’re expecting a thank you, tough luck. I could have handled that.” Faith says. She pockets her stake, rounds off to face this guy. He shrugs at her. 

“I’m not expecting one.” 

He turns to go.

“Wait up…” she calls to him. He turns his head back toward her. She gives him a curious once over. Handsome in a broody way. “I would have liked to dust those creeps.”

“Normally so would I. Not up to it tonight.” When he says that, he lifts his hands up, shows her how they shake.

“Good thing they were afraid of you then.” Faith says. “But, like, why?”

“I have a history of bad behaviour…” he says, scowling.

“A man after my own heart,” she says, beaming.

“I need to go.” He ducks his head, in a gesture that is a mix of coy and mysterious. “Stay safe.”

“Don’t you worry about me. I’m five-by-five.  _ You _ stay safe.” Faith laughs as she says it. 

He waves and heads off down the alleyway. She checks over her shoulder to make sure the vampire couple are gone. When she looks back the dude has disappeared. She rolls her shoulders. Her head is still a bit foggy, but the adrenaline from the fight helped. Still, probably best to head back to the horrid motel she calls home sweet home. 

She weaves back on a route that gives the cemeteries a wide berth. Being so out of it is making her risk averse, for once. The streets are all populated by men and women who look completely out of it. She encounters multiple car crashes with people standing around them, yelling at one another. But laughter breaks up the yelling, and the people seem to really not give a shit that their cars are wrecked. Faith shivers. It  _ is _ a crazy night in Sunnydale. And Faith is ready for it to be over. 

She thinks about Ilse’s kiss with a mixture of fondness and fear. Ilse put a spell on her or something, and Faith can’t believe she let down her guard like that. For some really strange, beautiful demon chick. Part of her wanted revenge on Buffy for standing her up. And what better revenge than kissing a scary demon? Smooth move. What a stupid night. As Faith regains some of her composure, is able to think again, she feels angry. This was supposed to be a straightforward, drink, dance, dust kind of affair. Again the universe has conspired against her plans. 

Rounding a corner, her dismal motel comes into sight. She sees a figure sitting on the bottom of the outdoor staircase, head leaned against the railing. Getting closer, she sees blonde hair, a gray cardigan half-buttoned over a pink shirt. 

Is that…

“Buffy?” Faith says, as she approaches the sleeping slayer.

Buffy’s eyes flutter open. She smiles sleepily, and wipes a hand across her face.

“Sorry I’m late.” Buffy says.

“I’m pretty sure you stood me up, actually.” Faith says. She crosses her arms and frowns. Buffy stands up on the third step, so that she towers over Faith.

“Sorry.” Buffy repeats. “I tried to make it. But circumstances intervened. You notice how all the adults are completely wigging?”

“Yeah.”

“Started with principal Snyder, and his stupid band candy. It got very cringeworthy. Then I had to save the babies of Sunnydale from becoming a sewer demon’s dinner… And it was kind of time sensitive.” 

“What?” Faith looks at Buffy, who appears to be sincere, if incomprehensible.

“This Ethan Rayne guy put a spell on the band candy that made all the adults into teenagers. Then, when the adults were distracted, a bunch of babies got kidnapped to be fed to this beast. Basically.” Buffy shrugs.

“That… is completely crazy. And, I guess, also a good reason to have stood me up.”

“I know, I would have grabbed you, had the death of babies not been so imminent.” Buffy says. “Forgive me?”

Faith attempts to stay mad, tries it out, but it doesn’t work. That is probably the most valid excuse in the history of history. 

“Yeah,” Faith smiles now. “It’s pretty cute that you waited up for me.”

“Well, I didn’t want you to think I had forgotten.” Buffy says, her eyes lighting up. “Because I wouldn’t.”

Her phrasing is so cute, and as she towers above Faith on that third step, Faith feels her heart flutter. Faith reaches out her hands and grabs Buffy’s waist. Faith hoists Buffy up and places her on the ground. This gives Faith back her height advantage. Buffy giggles. Faith grabs a lock of Buffy’s hair and twirls it in her fingers. 

“Thanks B.” Faith says, leaning forward so that her forehead touches Buffy’s. 

“Anytime.” Buffy whispers, breath so close that it warms Faith’s nose and lips.

“Hey, I met this dark brooding dude, that’s your type right?” Faith asks. She thinks she might be a dark and broody girl, so it seems like a good question to ask.

Buffy lurches back. Maybe not the right question.

“Who? Where?”

“He kinda saved my ass when I got jumped by some vamps… Didn’t mention a name… Are you okay Buffy?”

Buffy’s eyes scan Faith’s face. Buffy is grimacing. 

“It’s nothing.” Buffy says, in the most unconvincing way possible. But Faith sees no need to push the issue, would prefer to get back to the earlier, flirty mood. 

She wraps her arms around Buffy’s waist.

“Don’t worry about it B.” Faith says. Buffy smiles up at her again, though the smile has a sadness to it.

“Okay. I won’t.” Buffy says. 

Faith draws Buffy in. She can feel Buffy’s fast and erratic heartbeat against her chest. 

“I’m glad you came.” Faith says.

“Me too.” Buffy replies. Buffy stares at Faith and then at Faith’s lips. Buffy licks her own lips. A good sign.

Faith waits, stares back.

Buffy leans her head up and kisses Faith. She puts her hands on Faith’s head and pushes Faith into the kiss. Faith closes her eyes and melts into it. Buffy is so warm. And this kiss is all the more fantastic because it’s real… No spells. Just Buffy, smelling of vanilla and soap and sweat. Faith sticks her tongue into Buffy’s mouth and keeps kissing. Buffy sucks on Faith’s tongue and runs her fingers through Faith’s hair. 

Then Buffy pulls back. She looks up at Faith with dazed eyes.

“So what are we doing?” Buffy asks.

“Kissing?” Faith says.

“I know… But… What does it mean?” Buffy replies.

“Goodnight B.” Faith says, smiling. Faith doesn’t want to answer yet. She winks at Buffy. Buffy squeezes Faith’s waist.

“Okay. Goodnight Faith.”

 


	5. In Which Things are Revealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've gone back to a specific Buffy episode for this one, and there are a few direct quotations from said episode, distinguishable because I put them in italics. Just so credit can go where it is due. :)  
> (Also many of the plot points remain unchanged, so you might recognize things...)

****It’s lunch time at Sunnydale high, and the Scooby gang (less Faith) is heading out to the grass to eat. On the way, Buffy pulls Willow aside. Cordelia raises her eyebrow and shrugs. It’s a gesture that says the Queen has given her permission. Buffy tries to ignore it.

“Hey Will… I need some emergency girl time.”

“Then I’m your girl.” Willow says.

Xander and Oz watch them leave without complaint, accepting that female bonding calls.

Once they’ve arrived in an alcove by the back of the school, Buffy starts spilling. 

“I have some gossip.”

Willow straightens up.  She looks around, and balls up her fists in her sweater. She is a fidgety mess.

“Gossip? What gossip? I haven’t heard any gossip. No… no gossip here…”

“Huh?” Buffy says. Willow is acting more and more suspicious these days. “Do you wanna talk about something?”

Willow starts giggling, and appears a bit unhinged. 

“Nope. Not me. I’m hunky dory.”

While clearly a lie, Buffy sees no way of forcing the truth out of Willow. Her usual method of truth forcing involves an inappropriate level of violence. But she is pretty curious.

“Okay… Well, this gossip is about Faith…and me. The Chosen Two. And it’s of the big.” Buffy realizes that this is the first time she has referred to herself as one of a Chosen Two… Faith makes that feel real more than Kendra had. Buffy isn’t the Chosen One now, she is half of the chosen pair. 

Willow’s demeanour changes instantly and completely. Her anxiety slips away in favour of bald curiosity.

“Did you have a fight?”

Buffy giggles. She can understand why that is what Willow would guess. Those initial jealous feelings Buffy had for Faith have been replaced now by something much squishier.

“No. Not a fight. We…” Buffy pauses. Now that they’re talking, Buffy almost feels like she’s about to fess up to a crime. Or that Willow will look at her like she’s a criminal anyway, or maybe just someone Willow no longer understands. But she still needs advice and girl talk, so she pushes on. “Faith kissed me. And now it’s happened twice. It’s like almost habitual.”

Willow falls down on a concrete ledge. She oofs at her own sudden collapse. Bewilderment is all Buffy can discern on Willow’s friendly face.

“Like a romantic kissy fest?” 

“Exactly like that.”

“So you’re saying that you’ve been engaging in illicit slayer/slayer smoochies?” Willow grows pensive. “Seems to be a lot of that going on…” Willow mutters.

“Huh?”

“Nothing. And also whoa. Buffy, this is a major huge big.”

“It is? It is… isn’t it?” Buffy sits down across from Willow. She stares at Willow expectantly. Willow shall explain it all. Through Willow all shall be revealed.

“It’s major. Are you two dating? Do you want to be dating?”

“No… not even close to dating. I’m pretty sure. I would know, right? And honestly, I don’t know. She is a lot of fun, and so far the kissing is like this added bonus-y thing. But I have never dated a girl before… Is it different? I am feeling totally not able to do this date-age stuff. I’m feeling angst. Lots of angst.”

Willow places a hand on Buffy’s shoulder. Willow’s smile is small, and a bit mischievous.

“This is fantastic. Excellent. Best news I’ve heard all week. I mean, admittedly it was a rough week, but just great.” Willow is patting Buffy’s back rather vehemently. “You have to keep me up to date on all the goings on in Chosen Two-ville. Can I tell the gang? Are you going to tell the gang?”

“Not yet. Partially because I think it would throw Faith off if everyone suddenly thought we were dating and I didn’t even ask her first.” Buffy nods sagely. Now that she says it, she’s pretty certain she is right. 

“I would call that a Freudian slip right there.” Willow beams at Buffy. “You want to date her! Ah ha! This is very exciting. Are you my first gay friend?”

“Hold your horses Will. I’m not gay. Ever heard of bisexuality? Bi-something? Oh gosh, I don’t know. Remember Scott Hope, the _manly_ … okay, the boy-y?” Buffy quirks her head, and raises her eyebrow. It’s the first time she’s considered the issue, which might be odd. She very much likes kissing Faith, and is finding herself more and more attracted to her, but so far Buffy has left it very comfortably at that. 

“Okay. My first bisexual friend. It’s my lucky day.” Willow seems inordinately pleased by the information. 

It _is_ great to be telling Willow some part of the truth, to unload one of her secrets. Because Buffy is still guarding Angel’s existence from everybody, and people are beginning to suspect something. But this truthiness has put her on a roll of truth-telling. 

Willow puts a hand on Buffy’s hand and looks at her.

“Thanks for telling me Buff. I wish I could be as honest as you.” Willow says. “It feels nice, right?”

“Yeah, it does. You can tell me anything Will.” Buffy nods. She feels a bit hypocritical, since she is letting her biggest, most dangerous secret lie, but talking about Faith… is wonderful. Like, feel it in your toes wonderful. “So… spill?”

“I want to. I’m just not quite ready yet. But I need to talk, and soon. Just give me a bit of time to be brave enough.” Willow says.

“Okay. Of course.” Buffy grabs Willow in a side-armed hug, and they collapse, smiling, into each other. “Thanks Will. Also… what do I do? Should I ask Faith on a date?”

“OH MY GOD YES.” Willow exclaims this right into Buffy’s ear. Buffy may be permanently deaf. 

“Holy smokes Will. I think you need to dial back that enthusiasm… A lil’ bit.” Buffy musses Willow’s hair playfully and feels as if she could just explode with joy. She’s so buoyed by this feeling that she resolves to tell everyone about Angel. Starting with Faith. 

*****

Faith heads into the Bronze to pick Buffy up. She spots Buffy at the Scooby table, wedged in between Xander and Willow. Probably for the best. Faith wonders if those two could be any more obvious… And yet, she’s the only one to know what’s going on between them. The Scoobies can be a really dumb group sometimes. As she weaves through the crowd, she overhears Cordelia ask if Buffy has a secret boyfriend. Buffy’s answer is both coy and evasive, she makes a flirty joke about tonight (aka slaying with Faith). Faith takes that as a cue to sidle up and wrap her arm around Buffy’s shoulders.

 _“Yo, what’s up? time to motor-vate.”_ Faith says.

 _“Really we’re just good friends.”_ Buffy says to the group at large. 

But Faith notices that Buffy winks at Willow, and that Willow is beaming. It takes the edge off of Faith’s blossoming irritation. She and Buffy are not just good friends, and Willow knows. That’s an exciting development. Buffy must have told Willow about the kissing, and whatever the hell is going on between the two of them. 

Buffy smells of her signature vanilla and is dressed absurdly cutely for a night of slayage. Her pink top and skirt are sexy enough that Faith could not possibly mind they aren’t appropriate. But on the way out of the Bronze, Buffy grabs a huge bag. Faith’s smile falls a bit… She had actually become excited to see Buffy slay in a skirt, but that bag definitely holds a boringly appropriate outfit. 

“Need to stop by the bathroom. Come with?” Buffy says, and winks. Faith follows Buffy and watches the twitch of Buffy’s little butt. It’s kind of heavenly. But the bathroom stinks, as it always does, and Faith’s heavenly daydream gets a bit broken. Faith reapplies her dark lipstick in front of the mirror as Buffy changes in a stall. The mirror is graffitied with sharpie to say clever things like “boobs,” “boys,” and little proclamations that “Mandy was here ’96.” Buffy exits the bathroom dressed all in black. Okay, she pulls off this outfit just as well. 

They walk out into the night. 

“I need to tell you something… And it’s like super duper serious.” Buffy says. She links arms with Faith, and then her hand snakes down until she’s holding Faith’s hand. Faith’s stomach flutters. She feels almost like this is her first rodeo. It’s as if she’s never dated anyone before, the way Buffy makes her feel. 

“Okay. Tell away B.”

“Can we sit down?” Buffy asks. The two of them look around. They’ve emerged from the alleyway and there are a couple of almost sit-able spots. They walk towards a patch of grass in the distance, stepping in time with one another. Arriving, they both plop down, cross-legged, and look at each other. “Have we ever talked about our dating histories?” Buffy asks.

“What? Not too much…” Faith says. “I’m a loser-magnet… Or at least I was. I wouldn’t lump you in with those guys.” Faith smiles. And then gulps. She realizes what she’s just said. She just said that she and Buffy are dating. Which most definitely has not, by any means, been established. Oh crap. But Buffy is just smiling back, beaming actually, and a little bitty bit of blush is colouring her pretty face. She crinkles up her nose. As if to reassure Faith that this was not a jumping the gun faux pas, Buffy leans towards Faith and kisses her on the lips. It’s gentler than the last time, and Faith brings her hands up and strokes Buffy’s cheeks.  Buffy breaks the kiss and sits back. She leans on her extended arms, like she’s luxuriating in the kiss. And Faith is sure she has never seen Buffy look sexier. 

But Buffy’s face grows serious. She stares at the ground.

“Angel… my ex-boyfriend… The one I had to push into a hell dimension.” Buffy begins.

“Yeah. I’ve heard of him.” Faith says. “Must have been weird, a slayer and a vampire.”

“It was… complicated. In ways I’m still wrapping my head around.” Buffy says. “But you see… the thing that makes it all the more complicated…” Buffy pauses, and the pause lengthens and lengthens until it seems she will never resume. But Faith can see the words on the verge of tumbling out and so she waits. “Is that he’s back.”

“He’s what?” Faith feels her hands turning into fists of their own volition. Rage is already boiling in her stomach. The world is slanting and she’s falling into it.

“He came back. Somehow. And I found him.” Buffy continues on, her voice now a timorous whisper. 

“What? Buffy! Have you staked him? We need to stake him!” Faith leaps up. She grabs the stake from her pocket. Not knowing where Angel is seems like the least of their problems now. This vampire is dangerous. He killed Miss Calendar. Faith’s heard about that. And that makes him just like Kakistos. He might as well have killed Diana.

Buffy jumps up. She puts her hands on Faith’s arms, lowering them.

“No. You don’t get it. He has a soul again. You don’t need to worry about it.” Buffy says. She stares at Faith, her eyes full of pleading. “It’s okay Faith. He’s better now.”

“Better? He’s a vampire. It’s not worth the risk.” Faith snarls at Buffy. She’s so mad, she just can’t help it. He’s a monster damnit. It’s pretty clear: she and Buffy stake vamps. They don’t boink them.

“Stop.” Buffy pleads. She envelops Faith in a really strong hug that Faith can’t pry her way out of. Buffy looks up at Faith. She squeezes her until Faith begins to see a bit more clearly, her rage no longer making it impossible to think.

“How long?” Faith asks.

“A while.” Buffy says. She looks down at the ground. “I should have told… everyone… earlier. I just…”

“Wanted to protect him? Wanted to date him?” Faith says. She’s really mad now. The thought of Buffy’s boyfriend being back is making her rage turn to jealousy and back to rage. 

“Not to date him… But yeah… The protecting thing. I guess I just didn’t want to lose him to everyone else. Not when I had just gotten him back.” Buffy says, as if it all makes sense. But it doesn’t. It’s so reckless. More reckless than Faith would ever be, and that is saying something. Faith pushes Buffy off. 

She runs ahead, stomping her way to the cemetery. She needs to kill vampires now… Angel, specifically, but vampires in general will do. Her feet thunder over the concrete and she can’t see. She has tunnel vision tinged red with anger. 

Buffy is panting beside her, trying to keep up, but Faith’s anger has made her faster and stronger than normal.

“Who else knows? Does everybody know?” Faith yells the words straight forward, at nothing.

“No one. No one but you.” Buffy says.

Faith falters, slows down. The fact burrows into her head. She was the first one to know. It feels odd. She weighs that. She’s never the first to know with the Scoobies. It’s not much, but it’s something. It’s Buffy caring about her.

“When are you telling everyone else?” Faith says.

“I don’t know… Soon… Tomorrow?” Buffy says, her voice hoarse, as she tries to keep pace with Faith.

Faith is still sprinting, her feet pounding across the pavement. Cool air keeps her from sweating and anchors her in reality. She’s running through Sunnydale, she’s almost where they planned to meet Giles. She wants to rat Buffy out but won’t because she doesn’t know what will happen if she does. She almost plows Giles over when she arrives.

He’s rubbing his glasses and he looks up, startled and irked.

“Faith. You nearly trampled me.” 

“Sorry.”

“And Buffy. You look a mess. What’s gotten into you two? I didn’t expect you to sprint here. Hardly necessary.” He looks between the two of them, can probably see the anger there. 

“Let’s just get to slaying, alright?” Faith says. Faith leaps over the bench Giles is seated on and awaits monsters.

Giles shrugs, and goes back to staring at his book. 

When two vamps come out of the darkness, Faith and Buffy fall into a fighting stance that is beautifully harmonious. Even though Faith is angry, the two of them still move in time. They fight so well together. And as they dust the two vampires simultaneously, Buffy raises her hand. Faith high fives her without even thinking. Buffy squeezes her fingers. Faith’s reckless smile fades away and she extracts her fingers from Buffy’s. 

 _“Sloppy.”_ Faith hears a female British voice. She looks up and sees a skinny little woman, making critical remarks about her and Buffy that she is too irritable to even hear. _“Which one of you is Faith?”_  

 _“Depends. Who the hell are you?”_ Faith says, with a pout.

_“Gwendolyn Post, Mrs. Your new watcher.”_

*****

So much is happening that Faith just can’t keep it straight. And she does _not_ want a new watcher. Every time she looks at Gwendolyn, she sees Diana. Faith thinks she might cry, or swear. 

But Gwendolyn is talking, and explaining. There’s a glove, the Glove of Myhnegon. And Faith needs to protect it from the demon Lagos, kill him, save the world—the usual. She and Buffy split up, Faith can’t bear to be near her. 

At the cemetery, Faith bumps into Lagos, and gets her ass handed to her. She’s off her game and stress is making her thoughts incoherent. He knocks her to her feet and then just leaves. Which is kind of odd. No attempt to kill her, nothing.

Faith and Buffy do not meet up before Faith goes home to sleep. She hops into bed and falls right into nightmares. 

*****

Faith arrives at the Bronze the next night to a seething Xander. Buffy must have told the rest of the gang about Angel. He tells her how he saw Buffy and Angel together in an old abandoned house. How they looked so in love. Xander is hopping, literally, on the balls of his feet, made hyper by anger. 

He wants to stake Angel. Faith feels the fury in her again. A jealous, uncontrollable rage, so very similar to Xander’s. Faith knows how wrong killing Angel would be, how much it would hurt Buffy… and yet, she lets Xander take her to the Sunnydale high library to stock up on weapons. Because she’s so mad, so betrayed. She knows she can’t kill Angel. But damn does she want to. 

There is moaning coming from the office, and they go check it out. Giles is on the floor. He’s hurt. Xander calls an ambulance. Faith’s anger has morphed into fear. Angel did this. Did Angel do this? It doesn’t make sense because why would he… He has a soul again. But that didn’t work out so well last time. And Faith knows where Angel is and she knows she has to drive a stake through his heart and watch him turn to dust. Giles might die. And it must have been Angel who did it. 

She runs through town, adrenaline making her fast and brave. She barges into Angel’s place and sees Gwendolyn Post unconscious on the floor. Fear makes Faith’s whole body tingle. She hadn’t truly and fully believed that Angel had hurt Giles until she saw Gwendolyn. It’s irrefutable. He’s gone rogue. He must die. 

She charges through the house and sees… the man from before. In the alleyway. The one who saved her from the vampires when she was drugged by Ilse’s kiss. That was Angel. He saved her. Confusion slows her down, makes her hesitant.

He looks up at her. He smiles. 

The smile makes her rage kick back up to full. 

It’s Angel. And he has the Glove. It’s on a table in front of him. Everything is so much worse than Faith thought. And Faith is scared. She’s terrified. She knows what he’s capable of. Even as her fist cracks against his jaw, she worries. She’s holding her own in the fight, but… This is Angelus. His demon name comes back to her in a flash. He’s not Angel, he was never Angel. The vampire in front of her is Angelus. About to put on a glove and kill her. She lunges out and punches but he blocks her with ease.

Buffy appears. But instead of hitting Angelus, as she should, she swings out to punch Faith. Now Faith is fucking mad. Her fear evaporates and she’s seething. She bounces off the wall and rounds off against these two. She gets Angelus with a fist to the face and knocks him off his feet. She turns on Buffy.

There is so much Faith wants to say, but can’t. She is just too mad. She wants to explain to Buffy that Angelus is evil, that he almost killed Giles. Instead she punches and kicks and fights Buffy with all her strength. 

Xander has somehow appeared and is trying to split them up. Faith throws him against a wall without even thinking. This is between her and Buffy. Sweat runs down her brow, her knuckles feel swollen and bruised. She faces Buffy again. 

But she hears a noise. And she turns, and Buffy turns, to see Gwendolyn, snooty British Gwendolyn putting on the Glove of Myhnegon. 

She stares at Faith, with a loveless smile.

 _“Faith, a word of advice. You’re an idiot.”_ Gwendolyn says. She raises her arm in the air and lightning travels into the glove. Gwendolyn reaches out at Faith and blasts her into a wall with a shot of lightning.

 _Damn it. Damn it. Damn it._ Faith thinks as she falls onto the ground. Everywhere hurts. How can it be Gwendolyn? The fucking Watcher. How is it Gwendolyn who wants the Glove and Angelus who is the good guy? She sees him push Willow out of the way, saving her life. Where Willow came from, Faith has no clue, but Angelus… Angel… just saved her. And Buffy is crouched beside Faith, whispering a plan. 

Faith leaps up and runs, drawing Gwendolyn’s fire as Buffy goes in for the attack. Everything is so loud that Faith can’t hear. So loud that it’s almost like silence, a wall of blank noise. She is running and she watches Buffy slice Gwendolyn’s arm off. Buffy does it quickly, remorselessly and Faith is impressed. Faith stands and watches as Gwendolyn is incinerated by lightning. _That’s what you get for calling me an idiot_. Faith thinks. Some of her anger towards Buffy and Angel has been redirected. It feels sickeningly good to watch Gwendolyn go. 

But she’s still so angry, just as Giles, and Xander, and Willow must be so angry. All vying for a shot at Buffy for lying to all of them. But Faith is the most angry, the most hurt. She wants her shot. God. Angelus killed Miss Calendar. Tortured Giles. And Buffy loves him, Faith can see it. That hurts by far the most.

She turns to leave, to storm away. To find some alcohol and some oblivion.

“Faith, wait!”

Out of all the angry people, Xander, Willow, Buffy picked Faith. Ran after Faith.

She wraps her arms around Faith from behind. She rests her head on Faith’s shoulder. 

“Please don’t go. Let me explain everything. And… help me destroy this glove?” Buffy gestures at the glove, lying on the ground. Faith turns her head to take in the scene. Xander and Angel look at the pair of them, nonplussed. Willow is seated on the floor, nursing a sore shoulder, but beaming at Faith. 

“You can’t trust anybody…” Faith starts to say. Her thoughts still a mess of hurt. 

“You can trust me, Faith. No more secrets.” Buffy says. She turns Faith to face her, and cups her face. “I know you aren’t okay. But I want to make it better.”

“Yeesh B, I can handle myself.” Faith says, her voice wobbly.

Faith is being mothered by a girl barely older than her, and it feels… after some indignation, actually a little bit nice.

Buffy has a little frown line between her eyebrows as she looks at Faith. “I know this is a really bad time, but I’ve been meaning to ask. Wanna go on a date?”

“I… uh…” Faith says. Faith is floored. She doesn’t really do the whole dating thing. And no kidding is this a bad time to ask. Christ. Buffy lied about Angel being alive. What the hell was that and where the hell was the trust (or, like, whatever) that Faith had earned? 

“Okay,” Buffy says, with a small smile. “I think I’ll ask you again… when things aren’t how they are right now.”

Faith scans the room, wants to see how incredulous Xander and Angel are. But they haven’t been listening, instead are getting ready to destroy the glove. Xander is treating Angel as if he doesn’t want to kill him. Everything, the whole past couple days, is so confusing. Her brain is gonna lose it, she’s gonna pass out. She is actually, definitely, going to pass out. And then she does. Everything goes black as she falls down right through Buffy’s arms and onto the floor. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The episode in question is Season 3 Episode 7, "Revelations," written by Douglas Petrie. Couldn't tell you at the beginning or it would have spoiled everything!


	6. In Which the Scoobies Know

Faith wakes up on the floor. Embarrassment and confusion fight for space in her head. Fainting is not very Spartan.

But then she feels muddled rage because it was Gwendolyn who told Faith she was like a person from Spart. And even though it was a compliment, well, Gwendolyn was a mean psycho and she called Faith an idiot too. So… She pushes the word out, and gets to her feet.

“Sorry B. That was weird.”

Buffy is staring at Faith with round, concerned eyes. Buffy places her hand on Faith’s arm and keeps it there.

“I’m sorry Faith. This is most definitely my bad.” Buffy’s eyes fall to the ground. She places her hand on the small of Faith’s back, as a means of steadying her. Faith notices her own shakiness. Her brain just rebooted itself, and she isn’t feeling quite right. Faith runs a tongue over her teeth, rolls her shoulders. Composure is illusive. She looks around. The glove is gone, and Xander has just high-fived a reluctant Angel. Xander looks seasick afterwards, like he can’t believe he just touched Angel’s skin. Willow is smiling, with a hand on Xander’s shoulder. There is romantic familiarity between them still.

“Can I take you home?” Buffy asks. “You look pretty unsteady.”

Faith nods. She waves at the gang and Angel. Xander smiles at her with flirtatious enthusiasm. Willow beams again, waves her hand in a giant arc. Angel attempts a friendly expression, but Faith’s face goes steely and she turns away.

On the way out, Faith wraps her arm around Buffy and lets the tiny slayer support her.

Faith’s stomach is still roiling with an incomprehensible muddle of emotions. Anger, confusion, sadness, jealousy, but also a sliver of contentment. Buffy’s arm is wrapped around Faith’s waist, and Buffy periodically squeezes Faith into her side.

Outside the night is splendidly Californian. It’s warm and cloudless. Faith inhales the fresh air, to regain some clear-headedness. She looks around. Nobody is out, the night belongs to Buffy and Faith. They weave through trees, tread over dewy grass. As they near the street, Buffy let’s go of Faith’s waist. Buffy jumps over a low suburban looking fence and winks over her shoulder at Faith. Faith gets the gist. She leaps over another fence and lands with a flourish of her hands. Buffy runs ahead and Faith runs after her. They run, leap through the quiet neighbourhood and empty streets. Faith feels her stomach filling with laughter. Buffy really knows her, knows how well Faith responds to raw physical energy. Movement. Always. Faith hates to stop moving.

They race back to Faith’s motel. Buffy beats Faith there by just a moment, and flops onto the steps. Faith trips and collapses beside Buffy. They’re pressed up against each other. Buffy reaches her hand between their hips and grabs Faith’s hand.

“I’m sorry. I’m not super smart when it comes to Angel. But I promise that he has a soul, and he’s not going to lose it.” Buffy says. She stares at Faith so hard that Faith feels obliged to stare back. Buffy squeezes Faith’s hand and strokes the back of it with her thumb. Her eyes are earnest to the point that Faith feels unable to keep looking, or to look away.

“B…” Faith says. There are so many protests she wants to voice, but she doesn’t know where to start and feels too tired for it all. “I’m not okay with Angel. But I don’t know what to do about it.”

Buffy nods, and looks at her shoes. She knocks her toes together. Then she nudges Faith’s foot with her own. The gesture is a mixture of pleading and mischief. Faith looks at Buffy and sees how Buffy’s face begs for love.

Faith runs a thumb down Buffy’s cheek and lifts Buffy’s chin up. Faith pulls Buffy in toward her and presses her lips against Buffy’s. Buffy’s mouth slips open and Faith explores it with her tongue. Faith’s hands travel along Buffy’s back and towards her collar bones. She traces Buffy’s bones and lets her hands travel down to Buffy’s breasts. Buffy gasps. She raises her own hands to hold Faith’s in place.

Faith’s head is fogging up again. But this time it’s not a spell, it’s just that Buffy’s body feels even better than it looks. She forgets all of her irritation and just feels pleasure.

“Come up.” Faith whispers against Buffy’s lips. “To my room.”

Buffy nods, bumping her forehead against Faith’s.

Faith pulls Buffy up and guides her to the motel room. Faith locks the door behind them and flicks on the wavering light. She pulls the blinds closed. Buffy’s face is flushed, and Faith can’t tell if it’s from embarrassment or excitement. Deciding it doesn’t matter too much, she grabs Buffy and pulls her onto the bed. They roll around on the bed until Buffy gains the upper hand. She straddles Faith and holds Faith’s hands up behind her head. This was not what Faith saw coming. She really approves. Buffy leans down inch by inch until her mouth is just above Faith’s. She kisses Faith slow and hard. Buffy’s hands are now cupping Faith’s cheeks. Faith takes the opportunity to move her own hands to Buffy’s waist. With confidence, but minimized roughness, Faith inches Buffy’s shirt over Buffy’s stomach and over her bra. Buffy stops kissing Faith in order to pull her shirt the rest of the way off. Faith is almost blinded by how turned on she is. Buffy is so cute and sexy. Faith runs her hands over Buffy’s bare skin and gasps as she feels the goosebumps springing up under her touch. Lifting Buffy up, Faith flips them around so that she is on top of Buffy now. Faith almost throws her own shirt off. She leans down so that her chest presses against Buffy’s and kisses her again.

After minutes and minutes of kisses, Buffy breaks away from Faith’s lips. Buffy’s eyes are fogged up with desire, all heavy-lidded.

“We need to slow down.” Buffy says. “I want to. But this is too much new stuff for one day.”

Faith leaps off of Buffy and lies beside her. What a bummer. But it’s Buffy, so it’s actually an incomprehensible mystery that they got this far. Faith sighs, and crosses her arms over her stomach.

“Sorry.” Buffy says.

“You don’t have to be sorry about this.” Faith says, and she smirks. “Today’s been… a whole lot of messed up. Plus, waiting for you is something even _I_ can manage.”

Buffy eyes Faith sidelong, and slowly a smile creeps over her face.

“That was a compliment, wasn’t it?” Buffy says.

“Yup.”

“I think some part of you might be a softie.” Buffy smiles. She curls around Faith and closes her eyes. “Can I stay over?” She murmurs, sleepily.

“Yeah. You can.” Faith wraps her arms around Buffy and pulls her in close. Buffy falls asleep almost right away. Faith can tell because Buffy snores once and becomes limp in Faith’s arms. This is the most romantic situation she’s ever been in. She has no idea where it came from. Faith squeezes her own eyes closed and tries to drift off.

It’s not as easy for her as it was for Buffy. There are still so many threads for Faith to unspool in her head. The biggest, baddest thread being Angel. That fucker. He may have a soul… But the whole good guy vampire thing sits very uneasily for Faith. And damn does she hate being deceived. The thing is, that anger is tempered by Buffy having told Faith first, and it’s tempered rather a lot. It makes Faith feel like Sunnydale could be her home. Like she could be a real Scooby and not want to puke about it.

And even though holding Buffy without really touching her is hard, Faith is glad their first time wasn’t fuelled by anger and hurt.

Faith drifts off, her head bumping against Buffy. They’re both still half dressed, lying on top of Faith’s sheets.

Faith’s sleep is fitful. For a while she can’t figure out why, but then she places it.

She’s bored. The feeling snuck in the second Faith’s mind slowed down. Boredom propels her up from the bed, breaking her out of Buffy’s arms. She cannot be still. Stillness destroys her. Even when it’s so full of affection and kindness, Faith feels like she can’t handle it. Faith is movement. Ennui follows her wherever she walks and she’s afraid of it. She worries she can’t love anyone because she can’t slow down.

But instead of running out into the night, half-clothed, as her body wants her to do, she doesn’t. She sits back down on the edge of the bed. She swings her feet back up. It’s so hot and she lies atop the covers with her legs spread. Her hand finds Buffy’s and she squeezes. Buffy laughs in her sleep and curls toward Faith. Faith’s anxious laugh echoes Buffy’s. She’s gonna try this out. But Faith is not quite sure what she has started. 

*****

When Buffy asked Faith if she could tell the Scoobies about the two of them, Faith said: “What about us?” and arched her eyebrow. Buffy couldn’t tell if this was a flirtatious joke or if Faith really felt like there was nothing to tell. It was true that they had yet to go on an actual date.

This was when they’d woken up the morning after, and Buffy was staring up at Faith, with Faith’s arms encircling her. It was an angst-free goodness. (Although, there was also the nagging guilt and worry that revolved constantly around Angel like he was the sun. But she had that fairly well compartmentalized while she was waking up in Faith’s arms.)

Faith had smiled and kissed Buffy’s ear. Buffy had rushed out, pulling her clothes back on and adjusting her hair. Faith watched her at the doorway and blew her a kiss full of mocking affection.

The day ahead had been all Buffy explaining to her mom why she hadn’t come home. Buffy gave a sanitized version of a sleepover with Faith and Joyce seemed inordinately pleased.

It is now Monday again, and Buffy is at Sunnydale high. She took Faith’s answer on the subject of telling everyone as _not a no_. So she is gonna talk to all the Scoobies. Or at least, Xander, Oz and Giles. Because now that everyone knows about Angel, and are pretty grumpy about it, it would be nice to have a diversion. Plus she wants to share this because it is confusing and also great. She isn’t sure how it will go, but she has faith it will be fun.

Buffy asked everyone to meet her in the library at lunch. And Faith is due to show up at some point. As Buffy pushes open the doors and sees the assorted Scoobies ringing the wooden library table, she thinks maybe she created too much of a scene. Buffy gulps. Willow beams at her and waves. This makes Buffy’s confidence reassert itself a bit.

Xander and Cordelia are sitting together. Oz stands behind Willow. Giles exits his office and leans against a bookcase, glasses in polishing position.

Buffy smiles in a grimacy way, showing her teeth. She flings herself into a chair facing the gang.

“Hey guys.” she says.

“So what’s with the meeting Buff?” Xander asks.

“Don’t tell me there is _another_ apocalypse.” Cordelia says, rolling her eyes. “Because those are getting really old.”

“Nothing like that. In fact, nothing whatsoever. Ha ha.” Buffy says. She has decided to backpedal, overcome by awkwardness. “I actually solved the case. It was just a thing, and it’s resolved now. So, yup.”

“Well thanks for wasting our time.” Cordelia says while getting up out of her seat and making to leave the library.

“Cordy,” Xander says pleadingly, but Cordelia is out of there. “I’ll catch up to you.”

“You better.” Cordelia says.

Buffy watches Cordelia swish through the library doors and doesn’t turn back to the Scoobies until the door has closed behind Cordelia’s back.

“Are you sure it’s all resolved Buffy? Nothing you need to talk about?” Giles asks.

“Yeah.” Oz adds.

Willow looks at Buffy in a way that seems to be asking permission to blab. Her smile is inappropriately enthusiastic.

“What do you guys think of Faith?” Buffy asks. She shrugs even as she asks that, and looks around guiltily. This is kinda lame. She is so used to keeping secrets that she’s pretty sure she has forgotten how to actually share things. One on one, like with Willow, is probably better.

“I think she’s rad.” Xander says. “I mean, got a bit of a temper… Which I have been known to harness for dubious reasons… But if we could put the whole me trying to kill Angel thing behind us that would be fine.” Xander looks around the room for confirmation.

Buffy gives a slight nod. Obviously she was mad when the truth dribbled out of Xander that the reason Faith was trying to kill Angel… was Xander.

She knew her friends would have a problem with Angel though, hence him being a secret in the first place. They would all just have to forgive each other.

“Consider yourself forgiven.” Buffy says.

Xander grins.

“I like you two patrolling together. Her technique can be rather rough. But I have faith in Faith.” Giles says, and smiles a bit at his own wordplay.

“I feel she is of the good.” Oz says, and strokes his chin. “Will?”

“Oh most definitely of the good.” Willow says. “Of the very extra special good. Of the… Oh Buffy… I want to…”

Willow puts a hand over her own mouth in order to prevent her babbling.

“What is this interest in our opinion of Faith stemming from?” Giles says. “You two are getting along now, aren’t you?”

“Er yeah…” Buffy says. “It’s about that.”

“What’s about what?” said Faith’s voice. Buffy hears the library doors slam shut after Faith.

“We were just complimenting your character.” Willow says. “Your excellent character which we all like.”

“That sounds kinda suspicious.” Faith says. Buffy tenses up as she hears Faith approach her chair. Buffy is too scared to turn around. She doesn’t know how Faith will act or how she should.

Faith drags a chair loudly across the room to beside Buffy’s. Buffy watches out of the corner of her eye. Faith plops into the chair and puts her feet up on the table.

“This isn’t an intervention is it?” Faith asks, conversationally. “Because I’ll have you know that all my vices are under control.”

“Nobody knows what this is.” Xander says. “‘Cept Buff, and she’s not telling.”

Faith snakes her hand down and grabs Buffy. She stares at Buffy and Buffy glances back with a nervous smile. Faith plants a big kiss on Buffy’s cheek.

“Oh… Okay… I see what’s happening.” Xander jumps up as he says that. “So… I see. Actually I don’t see at all. What the heck is going on? Explain this madness!”

Giles looks at the two slayers, a quizzical quirk of his lip. Oz shrugs.

“It seems clear to me.” Oz says.

“Yes, it is clear, isn’t it?” Willow says. “It is young romance.” Willow nods to the room at large.

Faith smiles and stands up, dragging Buffy up with her.

“Look guys, let’s not get crazy about this.” Faith says. “It’s kind of no big deal.”

“If by no big deal you mean the biggest deal in the history of my life, then yes I agree.” Xander says.

Buffy feels like her face is going to burn right off because she is blushing so hard.

“I agree with Faith.” Giles says. “I’m fairly disinterested in your love lives, except to wish you both the best.” Giles gives Buffy a comforting and fatherly smile. “Now, I’ll be getting back to my books if you don’t mind.”

Buffy nods at him, mortified. Giles makes for his office.

“Fair enough boss.” Faith says. She’s slouching in a pose so nonchalant that Buffy can’t even understand it. God this woman is cool.

“So are you coming out to us or something?” Oz asks. He takes a seat and puts a hand to his chin pensively.

“Well, I guess, kind of. It’s not like I don’t like guys now or anything.” Buffy says.

“Yeah.” Willow grins. “She’s like _bi_ sexual.”

“Or something.” adds Buffy.

“Yeesh, do we need to label things?” Faith says, picking her teeth with a fingernail. “We’re all five-by-five here yeah? You aren’t going to go weird on us?” She stares pointedly at Xander.

Xander shrugs and slumps back into his seat. His mouth is hanging open, like he is maybe going to speak. But no words come out.

“Meeting adjourned?” Buffy says. Her face is still hot with embarrassment.

Faith takes Buffy’s hand and pulls her up and out of the library. Buffy waves at the gang and smiles. They smile back with expressions that range from confusion to joy.

“So now they know.” Faith says.

“Yeah. I guess so.”


	7. In Which Old Faces Pop Up, Inconveniently

Faith is pleased by her audacity. And watching Xander flounder is becoming a bit of a hobby. She smiles over at Buffy, who is still red all the way to the tops of her ears.

That was pretty fun. Making Buffy blush is a good skill to have.

"I guess that's that." Buffy says. "Are you going to say yes to a date with me now, since everyone thinks we're dating?"

Faith licks her lips and pulls Buffy around the back of the school. It's about as private as Sunnydale high gets. She pins Buffy against a concrete wall, digging her hands into the scratchy surface as she leans over Buffy. Buffy closes her eyes and turns her face upwards. Faith kisses her and smiles against Buffy's mouth. Faith inhales the smell of Buffy's nervousness, with a dash of vanilla. This girl is stunningly consistent.

She puts her lips against Buffy's neck.

"Yeah." Faith whispers. "You can take me out."

"Thanks," Buffy says, voice quavering.

"When?" Faith asks. She wraps her hands in Buffy's hair and lets the strands flow through her fingers. Buffy looks around and, satisfied no one can see them, puts her hands on Faith's ass and pulls her in closer. Faith gets it. She picked a spot secluded by bushes to accommodate Buffy's need for _some_ propriety. Faith kisses Buffy again. Teenagers can be heard running, punching, swearing. Faith hates teenagers.

"Friday night?" Buffy says. "A week night date doesn't seem special enough."

"Oh yeah. I'm definitely too important for a week night." Faith says. She is a bit bummed she'll have to wait though. It's only Monday. "But do we need a _date_ date? We're going to patrol together pretty much every day."

"It's not the same." Buffy says and pouts. Actually pouts. "I wanna take you out…"

Buffy's whine trails off and Faith sucks Buffy's pouting lower lip into a kiss.

"You got it B." Faith says. "As long as I don't have to wait till the date for more of this." Faith touches Buffy's lip with her fingertip.

"Definitely not." Buffy says and attacks Faith with an extra steamy kiss. "I couldn't stop kissing you for _that_ long!"

Faith breaks out of Buffy's arms to recline on the wall beside her. They lace their fingers together and look at each other sidelong. Faith feels a jumpy, tingly happiness. She accidentally just got herself a girlfriend.

The bell rings and Faith can feel it through the wall. Stupid school causes Buffy to push off from the cement.

"That's my cue." Buffy says. "See you later F."

"Tonight?" Faith asks.

"Actually no." Buffy looks guilty. "We get our SAT scores tomorrow and I am a disgusting stress ball."

"Why stress?" Faith asks, with a shrug.

"My future hangs in the balance and all that. I'm feeling a lot of pressure." Buffy says, shrugging.

"Got it. Tomorrow then. We'll celebrate your score." Faith says and winks.

She squeezes Buffy's fingers and pulls Buffy in for a sloppy goodbye kiss. Buffy sighs into Faith's body. Then Buffy has broken away and is waving at Faith with a goofy smile splitting her face. Faith ducks out and away from the school.

Time to loiter. Or train. Faith has nothing planned and isn't worried. When she's free to do what she wants Faith is never bored.

The day is hers, the town is hers. She sprints away from the stuffiness of education toward heady sunshine. Winding through empty streets, she surveys her new kingdom. It's a bit on the suburban side, but Buffy and the vampires provide almost enough excitement.

She walks around in a fog of happiness. The type of feeling she thought she had lost when Diana died. Faith sits on a park bench. For the first time since Diana was murdered, Faith invites memories into her head.

She remembers when Diana first appeared:

_Faith was in an alleyway, surrounded by some bikers she'd just swindled. She was outnumbered and cursing her over-confidence. But when a big balding guy had swung out to grab her she'd brushed him off like a bug._

_She looked down at her hands and felt a strength that had not been there a minute before. Another leather clad dude approached her and she threw him against a wall. A wicked smile bisected her face. She had always been a tough girl but this was something else. And damn if she didn't like it._

_As she plowed through more and more bewildered bikers, she heard someone clearing her throat. Faith scanned the alleyway. The bikers retreated, do-rags held in bashful fists._

_Diana stood in a ray of sunlight, really. She looked like an angel. (Faith would later learn that Diana had positioned herself in that shaft of brightness very strategically. She had a weakness for dramatic entrances.) Faith cocked her head. She approached Diana._

_"Hey." Faith said._

_"Hello Faith." Diana said. She extended her hand for a shake and Faith stared at it. "I'm Diana, your new watcher. I've got rather a lot to tell you."_

_"That so?"_

_And so it had begun. Diana had taken Faith out for a burger and explained the whole slaying thing. Diana's nonchalance had won Faith over immediately. Always she trained Faith gently, democratically. Diana alternated between mother and friend with ease._

Faith smiles as she pulls herself from the memory. A couple tears have smeared her cheeks. She wipes them with the rough back of her hand. She loved Diana. Loves her.

But while her life was at first a void after Diana's death, now it is refilling. With a misfit gang of Scoobies, a kindly watcher, a frienemy vampire with a soul, and Buffy. Buffy who is so sexy, who has so many secrets, and with whom Faith has a date on Friday night. Faith hasn't been on a proper date in ages, or what Buffy would consider a proper date probably ever. Should be fun. Faith rises and makes her way across town. She's heading to a pool hall. The skeezy daytime crowd there that reeks of beer and cigarettes makes her feel very at home.

She arrives at the entrance and inhales the pervasive unclean. Someone places a hand on her shoulder. She didn't hear anyone approach. She looks down. The hand is blue.

Faith's whole body convulses as she shifts out from Ilse's hand.

Breath hitched in her throat, Faith turns around.

"Hello slayer." Ilse says.

Faith backs away. Tension passes like a shiver through her body. Her hands become fists and she bounces on the balls of her feet.

"What's a slayer?" Faith says, feigning chill rather belatedly.

Ilse smiles with all her fangs in response. It's amazing (or disturbing?) that Faith could kiss that mouth without getting all cut up.

"I've been missing you." Ilse says.

Faith makes for the pool hall doorway without turning her back on Ilse. She shrugs.

"It was fun. But I didn't plan on seeing you again." Faith says. "Especially not when your kiss almost knocked me on my ass."

"Did it?" Ilse asks. She sways toward Faith. "I'd think you would definitely want more in that case."

"Thanks, but no thanks." Faith says, and nods. It's as close as Faith can muster to a polite, firm gesture.

"That's right, you're with the other slayer now."

Faith attempts to conceal her shock, forcing her mouth to stay closed. A gasp escapes through her nose all the same.

"Yeah. I am. Tough luck." Faith says. She shrugs. Pretending not to be bothered by this demon who knows too much is hard. But Faith is not really sure how she should act.

"We've been keeping an eye on you two." Ilse says.

This gets Faith out of her fear for a moment because she's so annoyed. Fuck all these cryptic bastards. Do all demons act like this?

"Whatever. I'm totally over this creepy bullshit." Faith says.

Ilse laughs with her head thrown back.

"I imagine you are. Unfortunately we haven't had enough of you."

With that Ilse walks away. She waves at Faith with a fanged smile. And just goes. Faith's irritation is right up from her toes to her eyeballs. It's making her itch. She slams open the door to the pool hall, leaving a snaking crack in the glass.

"Damn it."

She wrings her hands and stomps over to a pool table. Why does carelessness have to bite her in the butt? Scanning the room, Faith inhales through her nose sharply. Damn it again. There's a Billy Idol looking fuck in the corner sobbing into his beer. And he is giving off distinctly vampiric vibes. Can't a girl just play some pool? But no, it's got to be slay slay slay.

Faith approaches his table and sits across from him, her fingers wrapped around the stake in her back pocket.

"Shall we take this outside?" Faith asks. "I hate to knock a guy when he's down, but given you're a vampire, I'm actually bound by sacred duty."

The vampire looks up from his cloudy beer, diluted by salt-water tears, and grins with his fangs.

"Hey slayer." He says. "A new one, huh? I guess my lady did kill Kendra… Too bad… Charming girl. Sorry pet, normally I'd jump at the chance for a lil' rough and tumble… But not today."

Faith's stomach churns as she listens to his cockney accent. Killed Kendra… That was Drusilla. The pieces start fitting. Damn. This is Spike. Really not her day after all.

Faith tries to run through all she can remember about Spike and wishes she were more studious, or that Willow was here. He… Drusilla… Drusilla killed Kendra last year. That story Faith can't forget. It radically changed her life. But Spike has killed slayers too. Two.

Faith eyes Spike and pushes her chair imperceptibly away. Fight, or flight? She looks out the grimy windows and sees splashes of bright sun. If she can wrestle him outside it will be an easy win. Spike is still staring into his beer bottle, making strangled gasps of despair. It does seem kind of uncool for her to incinerate a crying guy.

"Look, you better quit town, okay?" she says.

"Can't." Spike says, shaking his head. "I'm looking for someone. You are Kendra 2.0, yeah? Buffy's still around I hope?"

"None of your business." Faith says, and crosses her arms.

"I like you. And Buffy too." Spike laughs. "Not all slayers have swagger. I look forward to killing you both."

Faith snorts.

"That's it." Faith says and stands. "I was thinking of cutting you some slack because of the pathetic-ness. But I'm just gonna kill you." She jerks a thumb toward the door in explanation.

Spike stands and pulls a blanket around his shoulders. Faith moves in to grab him but he dances away from her grip.

"Only if you can catch me, slayer." Spike says with a grin, running out into the alleyway with the blanket over his head. Faith pushes after him and follows his steaming body. He's strangely spry for being enshrouded in blanket. She weaves through parked cars and knocks past garbage cans to follow him.

But he slams open the door of a car with blacked out windows. He locks himself in just a moment before she can grab him. Her fingertips brush his clothes. She pounds on the window with her fist. That hurts. She swears under her breath. She can hear laughter as Spike squeals away.

"Damn, damn, damn it."

Faith leans against a red hot rod, rubbing her sore knuckles. So much for a chill day. Faith runs toward Sunnydale high. It's all the way across town and school is out when she gets there. She heads for the library. Empty. Just still, musty air and books. Faith skids out of the high school and heads for Buffy's place.

Knocking on the door, Faith waits on bouncing toes. Joyce appears and smiles.

"Faith. Lovely to see you." Joyce beckons Faith in.

"Buffy here?" Faith asks. "It's important."

"No, I'm afraid not. She won't be coming home right away because she and Xander and Willow are out somewhere."

"Okay, look, if you see her, tell her Spike's in town." Faith says, while turning to leave.

"Alright. I hope to see you soon Faith." Joyce says, nonchalant.

Faith glances over her shoulder and notices Joyce's flippant smile. Does she not know who Spike is? If only Faith wasn't in such a rush, she could, probably should explain.

Scowling, Faith runs. Where to, she doesn't know. She runs through all the Scooby hangouts in her mind… Home had been her best guess. Angel's place an unpleasant second.

All the same, Faith sprints there next.

She pushes into Angel's place and yells out:

"Buffy?"

Angel comes out of shadows of his shadowy home ruffling his hair. He looks sleepy.

"Faith?"

"Is Buffy here?" Faith asks, nervous jealousy bubbling up in her stomach.

"No."

"Do you know where she is?" Faith asks.

Angel shakes his head. He sits on his couch, inviting Faith to sit too. She puts up her hands in a 'NO' gesture and backs away from him.

"Bye then." She says, and heads out. She looks at Angel. He is slouching on the couch in a pose that makes him resemble a young human. Bile rises in her throat. She wishes she hadn't come, but more than that she wishes Angel's home wasn't one of the most likely places to find Buffy.

[Telling him about Spike is a no go: they were literally partners in crime for lifetimes and who knows what he would do with that information.]

Faith checks the Bronze, she checks Willow's house, she checks Xander's house. And then she gives up. No one ever hangs out at Xander's. By the time she heads home it is past midnight and too late to call to see if Joyce passed along the message. Plus, her room doesn't have a phone. Faith paces for ages, unable to sleep. She stamps around and breathes sharply through her nose. Bubbly effervescent rage and fear make her body tingle. The stench of cigarettes here that she normally finds so endearing is giving her a headache.

When her stomach calms enough for her to lie in bed and attempt sleep, it is already four in the morning.

*****

When Buffy is up for school, Joyce greets her with a smile and a bowl of cereal in the kitchen. Buffy kisses her mom on the cheek and sits beside her.

"I keep forgetting to mention," Joyce says. "Faith wanted me to tell you that your friend Mike is in town."

"Mike?" Buffy is nonplussed. She's pretty sure she doesn't know a Mike. Maybe he's Faith's friend.

If Faith could hear this, she would probably scream. And curse the poor memory and/or hearing of the middle aged. And really begin to worry about whether Joyce knows who Spike is. But Faith misses the exchange, because she is deeply sleeping in a motel across town.

Buffy, meanwhile, continues to wonder who Mike could be.

*****

Faith wakes up at half past noon, with a nervous headache doing cartwheels behind her eyes. She still has no clock in her room. But when she rolls outside and sees the sun all fat and yellow in the middle of the sky she almost screams. She has missed Buffy's lunch. And she doesn't know Buffy's timetable because she is not a stalker. Though creepier tendencies than her own would come in handy right now.

If Faith knew the term she would say this was a real comedy of errors. Actually, even if she knew that phrase, she might not use it, because it seems a bit nerdy.

But she _is_ noticing an unfortunate trend in which she just _cannot_ find Buffy. And so, it's time to change her angle. She'll find Spike instead. Faith returns to her room and fills a little duffel bag with an assortment of her favourite weapons: several rather stylish stakes, a crossbow, and even an axe, because why not. She puts another stake in her back pocket, a final one tucked into her shoe. This may be incredibly stupid… But that's sometimes Faith's MO and she's okay with it. You don't get as many alligator wrastling stories as Faith has by acting smart all the time.

Time to slay the slayer slayer.

Okay, she'll have to work on that one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long time between updates! Life got hectic and the story got a bit roadblocked, but I have gotten through it and am excited to wrap up the story soon.


	8. In Which No One Can Ever Be Friends

"Have legs, will travel" is a cool sentiment, but Faith is having trouble getting far with it. She's wandered around Sunnydale in a semi-purposeful fashion and now she's done. It's not that big. And she hasn't seen Spike. Maybe he did leave. Faith wonders if she should start yelling out: "Yoo hoo, Spike, come and get me!" That is pushing at the recklessness factor even for her though.

Again, she's feeling this urge to seek out Angel. The idea of him makes her sweatily uncomfortable, but what if Spike is at his place?

So, in no-nonsense Faith fashion, she heads over there. She waltzes right in and does call out: "Yoo hoo, Spike... Angel?"

She twirls around the empty room. Blanket strewn across sofa, chair placed haphazardly: it's the usual scene. Angel's house manages to never be homey, in spite of the obvious signs of it being "lived in" (or "unlifed in"?). It all gives the appearance of trying too hard to be human, but not really remembering how. The dishevelled parts lure you into a secure human feeling, but then there isn't enough furniture, no personal possessions. It's making her skin crawl.

"Angel?" She calls out almost timidly this time. Still no answer. Another dead end. So she leaves, feeling frustrated and useless.

Time for angle number three: let him find you. Worked the first time.

So Faith heads to Willy's Bar, since it seems like the type of place Spike would like, from their momentary acquaintance. It doesn't strike her as odd that she and Spike might have the same taste in bars… He gives off a scruffy and scrappy vibe that reminds her of her own. And not in a bad or good way. She is worried for Buffy's sake, because she knows Spike is dangerous, but not particularly worried about her own neck. As always, she's itching for a good fight.

When she arrives and plops onto a stool, Willy grins at her and hands her a shot of tequila, unbidden. The place is pretty empty, since it's only late afternoon.

"Thanks Willy, you're a peach," she says with a wink, and leaves altogether too little change on the counter. She downs her shot and dares him to complain. He doesn't. In fact, he looks completely unfazed.

"Next one's on me." He says. "I like the way you liven up the place."

Faith smiles at that unexpected sweetness, in spite of her own lack of generosity.

She gets up from the bar and seats herself in the corner. Her bag of weapons is stowed at her feet. From here she has a clean view of the whole establishment. People and demons begin trickling in right after she sits down, and she wonders if maybe she is a draw for them. Some of them nod and smile at her, and she smirks back. She gets quarters from a sweet looking guy to pick something on the jukebox. First thing she plays is "White Wedding" by Billy Idol. It's just so apropos, she can't help it.

She chats up the cute guy a bit, flexing her flirting muscles, but he's too sweet to keep her attention for long. Soon she is bored, standing at the bar, waiting.

A group of vampires busts in. They're made even more obvious because they all have their vamp faces out. They seem angry and panicked and Faith readies for a fight.

"Jake." They call over to an unassuming guy sitting at the bar. "Come with us. Spike's in town..."

Jake leaps up with a howl of rage. His face contorts into vamp mode. So Faith takes it these aren't Spike's friends. Half-heartedly waving goodbye to cute sweet guy, Faith follows the vampire horde, weapon bag slung over her shoulder.

What a delightful stroke of luck. And just in time. Before boredness had propelled Faith out of the bar.

She follows behind them a couple paces, and they are too caught up in rage-fueled adrenaline to care.

"I'm gonna dust that bastard." Jake mutters, grinding his fists together. Interesting. Faith wasn't aware vampires killed their own. Thought it might have been against their code. But demons don't have codes.

Neither does Faith, but that's not the point.

They storm across Sunnydale, wielding fists. They smash rearview mirrors and howl at the night. The group is motley and intimidating. Small and lithe figures as well as hulking bruiser types. Some male, some female. All wearing jeans and leather. As they approach the magic shop (of all places), Faith dashes to get ahead of the crowd. She heads for the back entrance as they head for the front. There is a little window at the back that would be too small for most of those guys to squeeze through. She hoists herself up the wall and pushes the window inward. Not even locked. She reaches down for her bag and pushes it through the opening ahead of herself. She lowers it to the ground and lowers herself after it.

She can hear voices in the magic shop and she recoils automatically. It's Buffy and Angel and Spike. What the holy hell? It's like a really unholy trifecta that Faith frankly was not expecting. Especially given the conversational tone... though she can't quite hear what is being said. She wouldn't call their tones of voice friendly, but they are also not the grunts of people fighting to the death. So.

Faith approaches on tiptoe, peers into the room. Spike has a sob in his voice as he tells Angel and Buffy they are still in love with each other. Faith's cheeks flush hot with anger.

She barges into the room stake first just as Spike says: "You two will never be friends."

"Alright if I crash this love fest?" Faith says. This Angel-Buffy star-crossed lover deal is really rubbing her the wrong fucking way.

"Hi," Buffy squeaks, her face a mixture of guilt and worry.

"Slayer numero deux?" Spike says. "Lovely to see you pet. This makes things really interesting… What's going on here? A love triangle?"

"Jeez Buffy, is befriending all the baddest vampires your life policy now?" Faith says.

"You mean Spike?" Buffy asks. "I know this will sound bad, but it's not what it looks like."

Faith snorts. If Buffy is using a line like that, Faith feels like assuming the worst is the only option. She grips her stake tighter and tries to determine just how dead she is… Spike has a bottle of whiskey in his hand, looks relaxed. Angel and Buffy wear stricken looks of guilt. It's all too friendly. Are they all fucking crazy? Is Faith dead?

But Faith relaxes a bit. Buffy is on her side. No matter how this looks. Faith is surprised to realize that she quite earnestly believes that.

"He kidnapped Willow and Xander." Angel mentions. He gestures at Spike with a derisive and dismissive finger.

"What? Evil piece of…" Faith lunges toward Spike stake first.

Buffy interposes herself between Spike and stake, with her small hand up.

"That's why we aren't killing him. We want to find them. Alive, and soon."

"And I'm not telling, until all you lovebirds help me with a love spell." Spike says, beaming rather inappropriately. "This is becoming positively gleeful."

With those words, the glass of the magic shop explodes inward.

That'll be the horde.

"Oh great. Things weren't already complicated enough or anything." Buffy says.

Faith and Buffy fall automatically into fighting stance, stakes forward, as a surge of vampires bust through the door.

"Help us out?" Buffy asks.

"Obviously," Faith smirks. Her face falls back to scowling though. "You've still got a lot of explaining to do later."

Angel takes up position at their backs, so they have no openings for the vampires to use. Faith recoils when his elbow brushes hers. But it doesn't hurt their odds for him to help.

The vampires are coming over toppled bookshelves and broken windows in what feels like an unending horde. The group that felt somewhat manageable when Faith was outside feels like a mob in the enclosed space. They snarl and punch, and she snarls and punches right back. Faith slips her crossbow out from her bag. But it's too precise a weapon for her, and she drops it almost right away.

Instead, Faith kicks a vampire in the stomach and knocks her down. Buffy is pulling her stake from a dust pile that was just a vamp. Faith glances over at Spike.

Unlike these three, working in unison holds no appeal for Spike. He's grinning, overcome by his indiscriminate bloodlust. Faith can tell he's loving this. He swings drunkenly, smashes two heads together. Then he grabs a vamp by the face and he twists, and Jesus, he rips it the guy's head clean off. He laughs as it disintegrates in his palm. It's so playful… His revolting display of violence brings him such obvious glee.

Faith has been fighting on auto-pilot, caught up with watching the altogether foreign scene of baddie vs. baddie. She's been punching and kicking haphazardly and she accidentally kicks Angel in the back of the knee. He stumbles. The vampire he is fighting starts choking Angel as he's distracted. Well, crap.

Faith watches Angel, sees a flash of fear in those eyes. Then she makes a choice. She grabs the vampire that is crushing Angel and she stakes him. Angel looks up at her with a smile.

"Thanks Faith. You saved me there." He says. He stares at her with an intent sincerity that makes her choke on her own spit.

Faith clears her throat and nods, turning away as she does. She grabs another vampire by the head and throws him into a bookcase. Little crystal balls and shards of amethyst cascade over the floor of the magic shop. Faith crouches over the vampire and stakes him. She looks over to see how Buffy is doing, and finds her holding a few clear bottles.

"Catch." Buffy says, and throws a big bottle at Faith.

Faith grabs it and looks at the label. Holy water. Excellent.

Faith cracks the top off and sprinkles the approaching vampires liberally. They scream and claw at their faces. The odds are getting better and better.

Angel has Faith's discarded crossbow in his hands. He has a detached precision that fells vampires almost concisely. He reloads bolt after bolt and turns his fellow vamps to ash. There is something bloody cold about it. The exact opposite of Spike's messy glee. Faith tries to focus, approaches the flailing vampires. They clutch at their blistering faces. She stabs a little female vampire right in the heart, who gasps in shock as she disintegrates.

Faith doesn't want to look at Angel because she's feeling afraid of him again. He's always so close to being a monster. A man with two faces.

The four of them are just decimating this horde though. They're a bit of a super team. Two scrappers, one Chosen One, plus a hardened old bastard. Spike kicks a vamp into a splintered bookshelf with such force that the vampire is impaled and dusted. Faith wants to steal that move.

Faith looks around. That was the last of them. A couple vamps by the door are scurrying away. She thinks she sees one of them crying. And Buffy doesn't see the shades or grey... Faith's adrenaline is high, she is bouncing on her feet. Normally she'd give chase, but Spike and Angel have her attention.

"Forget this love spell business." Spike says. "This fight reminded me of what's important. I'll torture Dru till she loves me again. The witchling and the boy are at the warehouse. Tata!"

Spike leaps over a broken table and through the shattered store window. That was abrupt.

"Should we chase him and stake him?" Faith asks with a note of hope.

"He's too dangerous." Angel says, shaking his head. "Even though he's drunk and heartbroken. If anything that will make him more dangerous."

"Plus, Willow and Xander are my priority right now." Buffy says. She tucks her hair behind her ears in her getting-down-to-business way. But her hands are shaking. Those two Scoobies must have her really worried. Faith nods and walks out of the shop. She yanks the crossbow from Angel's hands as she passes and scoops up her bag.

Spike is zigzagging through the street, a drunken mess. Faith lifts the crossbow and aims it at Spike's back. But the stupid lucky bastard trips and falls between two cars. She has no shot to take. Buffy shakes her head at Faith, in a consoling way. Mouths: "Next time?"

Slipping into step beside Buffy, Faith reaches down to clasp Buffy's hand. They both look down at their hands. Faith smiles queasily.

"Guess it's rescue the Scoobies time." Faith says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the super long delay (to anyone who has been waiting on an update!). I was traveling/having general life upheaval, so this fell to the bottom of a long To Do list.


	9. In Which Buffy Asks About Friday Night

Willow and Xander have been rescued. And now everything is chaos.

Faith is at home, her toes all tangled in her sheets. She presses into the mattress with all her weight. She’s got a newer, heavier restlessness plaguing her tonight. All the Scoobies know what Faith has known for ages… there is something going on between Willow and Xander that’s all romantic and forbidden. Oz and Cordelia are now the spurned boyfriend and girlfriend. Their anger and sadness makes it seem like the Scoobies are imploding. Cordelia is in the hospital… Faith has this worming, squirming guilt. She didn’t tell anyone about the secret lovers. And she has no idea if that was the right call. This is the first time she’s worried about something like this. Normally, she doesn’t have enough friends for this to come up. 

Plus, the Xander/Willow betrayal is uncomfortably forcing Angel, Buffy and Spike to the apex of Faith’s thoughts. She can’t avoid them, they are up, down, everywhere in her head. It was so hard to see Buffy and Angel together. As lovers? Apparently never as friends. Stupid asshole Spike. His intuitiveness about Angel and Buffy is so irksome. He saw something that nags at Faith all the time: Angel and Buffy seem to have locked themselves up in a place where only star-crossed lovers can go. 

Yet Faith also curses her own jealousy. Is she not confident? Is she not strong? Her possessiveness of Buffy is a vulnerability.   
Hardly anyone makes Faith vulnerable. Right now, Buffy is the only living person who can. And so the thoughts are so tangled up, so woven in, that there is no way Faith can shut them off. 

She escorted Cordelia to the hospital with the Scoobies but then she’d had to run. She ran from the hospital back home, before Buffy could say goodbye. Before Buffy could try to kiss her. Faith’s whole body is burning. She feels sick. There is sweat under her arms and soaking the bottom of her feet. The sheets are becoming a damp mess. Faith is furious and scared. 

Is this what love is?

She wishes Buffy had run after her again. Instead of sitting with Cordelia. Even though Cordelia needs everyone more. She was  _ skewered _ for Christ’s sake. It’s amazing she didn’t  _ die _ . Even Faith can see that Cordelia is more important in this case. Shit. Faith oughta call and check up.

Faith trips out of her bed and onto the floor. Sitting on the stained carpet, Faith extracts her feet from the sheets. She bounds outside and down the stairs. 

Her face is flushed and she almost rips the payphone apart when she grabs it. She cycles through the phonebook that hangs from a cord in the booth. Finds the hospital.

She presses the black receiver against her jaw. It’s covered with anonymous grime, but at least it feels cool against her face. 

After ringing for so long Faith is pretty sure she should have gotten an answering machine, a woman answers. Her voice is nasal and drowsy.

“Cordelia Chase. How is she?” Faith asks.

“Are you family?”

“Obviously.” Faith snarls. She hopes the panic and annoyance in her voice gives credence to the lie.

“Let me see here.” There is the clunky sound of a computer whirring, and pages flipping. “She’s going to be fine. She was lucky that none of her organs were impaled. She’s been sleeping.”

Lucky her organs didn’t get impaled? Might have been luckier to just  _ not _ get impaled while watching your boyfriend kissing another girl.

Faith hangs up without saying thanks or goodbye. Regrets her rudeness a little.

She exits the phone booth and looks down at herself. A total mess: she’s wearing a t-shirt and boxers, her hair has become stringy with sweat. She didn’t even remember to put on her shoes. She feels love sick. Like physically ill from this thing with Buffy.

Faith trips back to her place, stubbing her bare toe on a car tire as she walks by. She’s so disheveled that she has become clumsy. So that’s new. And sucks.

When she shoulders back into her own room, she collapses and falls right asleep.

In the morning she is woken by a pounding on her door. She extracts herself from bed with a scowl.

“Coming, jeez.” She yells. It feels way too early to be up.

She opens the door. It’s Buffy. Buffy of Angel and Buffy. Buffy of not running after Faith Buffy.

“Hey.” Faith says. She moves back in case Buffy wants to come in. Buffy does.

Buffy smiles at Faith and sits on the disastrous bed.

Grimacing in response, Faith leans on her wardrobe facing Buffy. Makes an attempt to de-string her hair. Looking this crappy in front of a girl you like is not ideal.

“Are you okay?” Buffy asks. She grabs a handful of sheet and pinches it in between her fingers. “I know you heard Spike… And that probably didn’t sound good.”

“Surprisingly, it didn’t.” Faith says, her voice all sarcasm and raised eyebrow.

“It’s complicated. Angel and me.” Buffy says with a shake in her small voice.

“I’ve noticed.” Faith says. She crosses her arms over her chest.

“What about our date?” 

Faith isn’t quite sure what this question means. She’d kind of forgotten about it.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at school?” Faith asks, instead of answering.

“I’m on my way. I wanted to see you first.”

Faith nods. The handle on her dresser is digging into her hip, and she pushes harder into it on purpose, the pain making her head feel more clear. Buffy looks at the floor, her own feet, mostly unable to look at Faith.

“Do you still want to go out with me on Friday?” Buffy asks.

“Oh.” Faith stares, her brow all frowny. She’s not sure if she does. “I’m not sure B. What Spike said… did not sound good.”

Buffy nods, and little tears start leaking out of her eyes. She wipes them away, doesn’t make any noise. Faith curses Buffy in her head. How is she so  _ good _ at being the good guy? Faith plops down beside Buffy and grabs her hand.

“Look B… Sometimes a girl needs a little reassurance is all.”

“I know.” Buffy nods. “What happened was definitely of the bad, of the very very bad.”

Faith stares at Buffy, the type of meaningful stare that is supposed to indicate to Buffy that she better keep talking because this is not adequate. Buffy is still looking resolutely at the floor though, so Faith can’t be sure the message is being received.

After a pause that is decidedly too long, Buffy says: “I’m… I’m not in love with Angel.” Her face is already streaked with salty lines, and she looks at Faith. “I’m really not.”

Buffy puts her hands on Faith’s waist. She smiles at Faith in a beseeching way. Buffy puts her head on Faith’s chest. Faith pulls back and looks at Buffy in a way she hopes is a weird blend of supportive and accusing. 

“Maybe.” Faith says.

“Maybe what?” Buffy asks.

“Maybe we can go out on Friday.” Faith shrugs, and wraps Buffy in a hug. “I am not cool with the high levels of drama.” 

Buffy nods into Faith’s collarbone, but says nothing. Faith squeezes Buffy once. Then lets her go. Spinning on her toes, Faith takes up her spot against her dresser again. Her hair is so oily, surprisingly so. She showered some time recently (she thinks) but all her stress is making her disgusting. 

“Look don’t even worry about it. It’s not like we’re girlfriends or anything.” Faith says petulantly. Even though she had thought they kind of were. And wishes that in fact she still felt like they were girlfriends. Or she probably wishes that. Would that make her more or less grumpy?

This statement seems to take the breath right out of Buffy’s little chest. She scrunches down on the bed, nods into her own body.

“Okay,” Buffy squeeks. Standing, and pulling her arms tightly across her chest, Buffy nods goodbye. “See you soon.”

Faith nods as well, opens her door. And Buffy is gone.

*****

Things have been tense between Faith and Buffy for days now, and Buffy is feeling totally blue. Her lassitude is becoming heavier and heavier as Friday approaches. It is Thursday night and still no word about whether the date is happening. So she and Willow match perfectly in their gloom. Willow is over at Buffy’s, and they’re tucked up in her room. Since they are both in awkward almost-heartbreak, they take turns stroking each others’ hair and being moody. 

“Will Oz ever forgive me? Do you think?” Willow asks.

“I hope so Will. You need to keep trying.” Buffy says. It’s her turn to comfort, so she is braiding and unbraiding Willow’s hair as they sit together on the floor. “You and Xander though? Is there anything still there?”

“No.” Willow shakes her head. “Losing Oz made me realize how much I care about him.”

Buffy knows what Willow means. She hasn’t lost Faith, but she’s coming close. And according to Faith she didn’t have her in the first place. Buffy knows it’s kind of weird to think she and Faith were girlfriends… But she definitely did.

Buffy nods, even though Willow’s eyes are closed. They sit in silence for a long time, Willow’s red hair running through Buffy’s fingers. It’s comfortable within their shared sadness.

The phone rings. Buffy leaps up, hopeful. It stops ringing and Buffy deflates.

“Faith is on the phone for you, Buffy.” Joyce calls up the stairs. 

Buffy looks down into Willow’s upturned face. Willow nods, sage and miserable.

“Go. Speak to your beloved.” Willow says. “I can deal till you get back.”

Buffy leaps up. She grabs the phone from her room and calls down the stairs: “Thanks mom. I got it.” 

She steps out into the hallway and pulls her door closed, in hopes of some privacy. She slumps against her bedroom door, takes a deep breath in. Then out. 

“Hey.” Buffy says. She hopes it comes across cool, and not the strangled awkward voice she heard in her head.

“Hey.” Faith says. 

There is a pause that feels like it might just _not_ _end_. Buffy twirls her hair. Time for her to think of something to say.

“So…” Buffy says. How can that be the best she could do? Disappointing.

“Okay.” Faith says. Her voice is that adorable mix of grumpy and feisty that Buffy really can’t resist. “I’m in for tomorrow. So I hope you’re ready.”

“Oh thank god.” Buffy says. She claps a hand over her own mouth. Overeager much? Faith snorts. “I mean, cool. See you tomorrow night.”

“Okay B. See you tomorrow. Pick me up at six?” 

“Pick you up at six.”

They say goodbye and hang up. Buffy’s face turns pink with happiness. She places the phone on her tummy and sighs. That feels good. And she knows she can totally ace this date. Faith’s about to get her pants romanced off. Except not actually… Because that’s too soon.

The door opens really suddenly and Buffy falls into her room, staring up at Willow.

“Yay!” Willow says. “Date is on!” Beaming at Buffy, Willow gives her a hand and pulls her up.

“Way to eavesdrop Will.” Buffy says, smiling.

“I tried not to for a second… But… please let me live vicariously through your romance?” Willow says in a rushed breath. “I need it because I’m heartbreak girl.”

“I know Will.” Buffy says, and she wraps Willow up in a cuddly hug. “Just keep trying with Oz. He loves you so much, that can’t have just disappeared.”

Willow nods, moistly, her tears making a sticky patch on Buffy’s shoulder. It’s too bad that as Buffy’s spirits are lifting, Willow is still stuck in Sadsville. 

“Sleepover?” Buffy asks, petting Willow’s hair. Willow nods into Buffy.

They disentangle and smile at each other. 

Buffy slips into her pajamas and Willow gets into an extra pair. They go to the washroom together and brush and floss in synchronicity. Doing something like this with Faith seems unimaginable. But in a good way, Buffy is pretty sure. Faith and Buffy have something electric and uncomfortable. Everything is frantic but exciting with Faith.

Willow is quiet, except for the sniffling. The problem is even though Buffy wishes she could get Willow talking again, she’s too distracted, planning her date tomorrow. Luckily she made some arrangements in advance. As Willow and Buffy snuggle into Buffy’s bed, Buffy feels her excitement bubbling up. She hopes her smile isn’t too obnoxious in the dark.

*****

Faith gets dressed at 5:45, hair still damp from the shower. She left things obnoxiously close, because she was annoyed. But she did bother to check the time, peering into her neighbour’s grimy window at his alarm clock, because she also wants to look good.  

Putting on her signature tight black jeans, she checks out her butt in the mirror. She takes a moment, standing topless in front of her mirror, admiring. Buffy is a lucky girl. Next Faith pulls on a black tank top. She decides to go braless because it will shock Buffy… And arouse her too, obviously. Faith has regrouped, and decided to be all brass balls and confidence. Because that is who she is, and this complicated stuff with Buffy and Angel just ain’t gonna get her down. Probably. 

Faith completes the look with dark red lipstick and she’s ready. Just as Buffy knocks on the door. How’s Faith so perfect at timing?

Faith opens the door wide, her most winning flirtatious smirk ready to go.

And there is Buffy, tiny little Buffy, holding something between her palms, all wrapped in Christmas-y wrapping. 

“Open it?” Buffy says, but with a little question mark at the end. It’s a shy tone of voice that makes Faith’s heart melt just a little. Faith takes the package from Buffy, making sure to brush her fingertips along Buffy’s hands. Buffy is wearing a halter dress that falls delightfully far above the knee. Her bare, tan legs peek out at Faith in a way that Faith is finding quite lascivious.

Faith licks her lips and rips open the package. She throws her head back and laughs as the paper falls to the ground outside her door. No way.

It’s the most beautiful stake Faith has ever seen. It’s dark red, the shade of her lipstick, and polished so that it glistens. And it’s hefty. The type of hefty that seems ideal for smiting even the mightiest of demons. 

“How did you know?” Faith asks, tone mocking as usual, but at the same time the fact that she is just a little bit moved comes through in the shake in her voice at the end.

Buffy must have heard that telling shake, because she puts her hands on Faith’s cheeks. Buffy stares at Faith determinedly, stroking Faith’s ears.

She leans into Faith and kisses her with parted lips. Faith kisses her back, pushing her tongue into Buffy’s mouth. Faith throws the stake backwards in the vague direction of her bed, so that she can place both her hands on Buffy’s ass. Faith squeezes and smiles into Buffy’s mouth when Buffy squeals. There is something a little angry in the way Faith is kissing Buffy. But if Faith needs to work through her anger by aggressive lip-locking, that kinda seems okay. And Buffy is definitely into it. She pushes closer and closer into Faith, her own hands travelling down Faith’s back. Buffy locks her arms around Faith’s waist, but lets a finger dip down to stroke the top of Faith’s butt. The longer they kiss, the more Faith feels Buffy melting into her. Buffy is leaning farther and farther into Faith until Faith is basically holding Buffy up with the hands on her ass. Taking that as an invitation, Faith lifts Buffy off the ground. Buffy wraps her legs around Faith’s waist, and her hands migrate back to Faith’s face. Buffy starts sucking on Faith’s tongue. The move almost knocks Faith out with its sexiness. Faith pulls back a bit so that she can nibble on Buffy’s lower, pouty lip, and suck on it. Buffy moans, her eyelids fluttering open and closed.

“Well hey B.” Faith says. “This is already the best date I’ve ever been on.” 

Buffy laughs and tucks her head into Faith’s shoulder. Faith kisses Buffy’s neck and squeezes her bum. 

“I do actually have stuff planned though.” Buffy says, raising a finger in the air. “Promise.”

“Oh fine.” Faith huffs. “I guess I can do the date stuff. If I have to.”

Buffy laughs, her breath tickling Faith’s ear. Faith squeezes Buffy’s butt a final time and then lets her down. Turning back toward her room, Faith grabs the new stake and pockets it. She shrugs on a big military looking jacket and stuffs her wallet and keys inside. Locking her motel door, she is ready to be dated. Although the night is pretty brisk, Buffy doesn’t even have one of her signature cute cardigans to pull over her dress. She just has a little purse slung over her shoulder, and miles and miles of bare leg. Faith is already imagining how she can chivalrously give Buffy her coat later. 

Buffy reaches out for Faith’s hand as they walk down the stairs. Faith goes for it. If she said yes to the date, she might as well actually do the whole date thing. 

“Where are we going?” Faith asks, pulling at one of her buttons.

“Not telling.” Buffy says. She squeezes Faith’s hand and actually does a happy little hop.

Buffy leads Faith through Sunnydale’s quiet streets. The sky is already darkening, and goosebumps dot Buffy’s arms and legs. Buffy leads them along the middle of the suburban roads, rather than on the sidewalk. Faith feels quite touched. It seems like the type of rule-flaunting gesture that would make Buffy awkward. And it’s great. 

They pass through identical street after identical street. Curiosity is making Faith look at things more closely. They are heading away from the Bronze. Away from most of the few places Sunnydale actually has. Mysterious.

Buffy speeds up and they start jogging around corners, and through streets, until they reach a park that is almost a forest. It’s a quaint place that is usually chock full of monsters. 

“Is this a work date?” Faith asks.

“Nope.” Buffy smiles. “I spent the whole week in this park killing all the vamps. They started avoiding it by around Wednesday.”

Faith beams. What an insanely cute thing to do for a date Buffy wasn’t even sure was happening. They brush past leafless trees. Faith gasps. It’s adorable. Faith has no idea how to cope with this much cuteness. Buffy has laid out a big plaid blanket with a picnic basket. Like out of a movie. And little twinkling lights are floating around the air, making everything eerily pretty.

Faith approaches the lights, and they bob gently away from her. She reaches out a finger, but they evade her.

“Will spelled them. They’re magic.” Buffy says. 

Buffy’s cuteness makes Faith remember her own plans of chivalry. She shrugs off her coat and puts it over Buffy’s shoulders. Smiling at Faith, Buffy puts it on.

They sit down on opposite ends of the blanket. Buffy opens the picnic basket and extracts two huge hamburgers wrapped in yellow paper.

“I am not a great cook. So rather than pretend I am, I decided to bring food you would actually like.” Buffy says. Faith is impressed. Buffy is usually eating diet everything, or yoghurt, not the heavy greasy stuff Faith loves.

Lifting her burger up in “cheers” type of gesture, Buffy unwraps hers. It’s huge and dripping with sauce. Faith does the same. The meaty ketchup smell makes Faith salivate. And watching Buffy take her first bite just makes Faith more drooly. The burger gets all over Buffy’s chin and ketchup drips down her pretty neck. Oh this is good. Faith chomps down and gets a delicious explosion of beef and mustard in her mouth. The burger is gone in a few more bites. Leaving Faith able to just watch Buffy eat. Buffy blushes as she notices Faith’s gaze. Buffy wipes the ketchup from her chin, licks her lips clean. Faith crawls across the blanket to the picnic basket. She goes deliberately slowly, her hips swinging from side to side. Inside the basket there is a bottle of bubbly apple juice. Faith wishes it was the hard stuff, but that is not Buffy’s style. Pulling it out, she spots a tupperware container. She opens it up to find cute little brownies. 

“My mom made them.” Buffy says. “She was excited about our date.”

Faith plops the tupperware in front of Buffy and sits down cross-legged about an inch from Buffy’s knee. Peeling off the foil wrapping on the bottle, Faith pops the cork loudly. 

“Cups?” Buffy asks. She reaches into the basket, her arm flailing. “Forgot cups.”

“Good.” Faith says, taking a swig from the bottle. She wipes the juice from her lips with the back of her hand and passes the bottle to Buffy, who is now burger free. Buffy glugs from the bottle. Involuntarily, Faith’s lips part as she watches Buffy’s throat move. 

Faith grabs a brownie from the tupperware and leans into Buffy. Buffy’s mouth opens and Faith puts the brownie on her pink tongue. And because Faith is feisty and can’t help it, she leans in and bites the other end of the brownie just as Buffy does. They kiss around the sweetness. The world stops as Faith runs her hands through Buffy’s hair.

“This is kind of perfect.” Buffy whispers. “I was worried… Because… I seem to be kind of messing up.”

Faith puts a finger on Buffy’s lower lip.

“I think you’re doing a good job at making me not rage.” Faith says. 

Buffy laughs. 

They both collapse onto the blanket at the same moment, side by side. Holding hands, they look up at the stars. Except they can’t actually see any because of light pollution and general pollution, so Faith ends up looking at the little bobbing lights instead. It’s nice. Who needs stars anyway? Faith has always found them depressing. Little dead lights twinkling across space. 

Lying here with Buffy, Faith feels the knots of stress that have been making her gross all week begin to unknot. She is relaxed for the first time in days. And isn’t even thinking about Angel at all. Except for right then. Damn. She’d been doing pretty well. But she curls towards Buffy anyway, looks at her through half closed eyes. Buffy has her hands crossed over her tummy and her eyes closed. There is something so nice about this. About how comfortable and easy things with Buffy are. Faith leans over Buffy and puts a hand over her heart. It’s pounding frantically, erratically. This isn’t what Faith expected. She guesses her own presence isn’t really as calming as Buffy’s. Buffy opens her eyes. 

“I like this.” Buffy says. “Can we be girlfriends again?”

Faith kisses Buffy, arms spread on either side of her. Faith’s hand rests on cold dewy grass. She makes a fist around the grass and rips it up as she kisses Buffy.

“Is that yes?” Buffy asks.

“ _ Again _ ?” Faith asks, eyebrow quirked. “I’m not ready B.”

“Oh okay.” Buffy says. “Don’t even worry. Everything’s five-by-five.”

That earns Buffy another kiss. 

“Hey, don’t steal my line.” Faith says. She hugs Buffy as they lie on the ground together. 

It was a good date. Awesome. But Faith needs some time.


	10. In Which There is a Harbinger

Faith is moping. Prior to meeting Buffy, moping wasn't a thing Faith had done much of. Well, if she is being completely transparent, that isn't true. Because losing Diana had shoved her into a semi-permanent mope. She just isn't quite used to moping around in love. It isn't really Buffy's fault either. Because Buffy was a perfect gentlewoman on their date, and Faith had lots of fun. And Spike is stupid and annoying… But perceptive too.

Faith guesses she is moping because of all the uncertainty. Which is usually something she revels in. Uncertainty is like one of her favourite drugs. But the thing is, she really wants Buffy to be hers. If their date showed Faith anything, it was that.

And Angel, bastard that he is, seems to be resolute in standing in their way.

Faith is not sure he knows that she and Buffy are dating, even. Telling him seems like a good first step. Then staking him. That would be step two. 

Even though Faith has been outside this whole time, she has been so deep in Mope-ville that she is only just noticing the goosebumps that are covering her arms. It may be pretty warm in Sunnyhell, but at night a tank top isn’t quite enough clothes. But Faith's initial plan had been to go for an angry jog. The whole moping, while leaning against someone's house, was inadvertent. She should get moving. Her gloom is like a form of sluggishness, and she needs to de-slug.

She forces a smirk onto her face. It pulls at her cheeks in a weird way. She's been such a loner lately that she hasn't smiled much at all. 

It's been a week since their date night. She told Buffy quite firmly that she would come over, or call, when she was ready.

Faith pushes off the stuccoed wall. It's time to move. She pulls her hair into a ponytail with an elastic band. And, inspiration striking, she knows just where to run. She begins jogging, her leather pants immediately becoming sticky with her sweat. It's exactly the aggressively visceral feeling that Faith loves.

She arrives at the hospital and busts in. Dodging grumpy nurses, she makes her way to the second floor. Cordelia's door is closed, and so are the blinds. Undeterred, Faith walks over. She opens the door and peeks in.

"Hey!"

It's dark and stuffy inside. And Faith hears a grumpy moan from the shadows.

"Who is it?"

"Your favourite slayer, Faith." Faith says, strolling in.

She plops onto the end of Cordelia's bed and pats her feet. Cordelia sits up, and Faith can see a small smile on her face in the shadows.

"You aren't wrong there. I'm actually, surprisingly, glad you came. Have you ever been to the hospital? One word: BORING."

"I trust you. Lucky for me, as a slayer hospitals are pretty unnecessary." 

"Oh. Never mind. I hate you. Go away." Cordelia says this while turning on her bedside light. So Faith takes it as the joke it is.

"How's the giant gaping hole?" 

"They patched it." Cordelia says. “I don’t know how I could be the most popular girl in school if I had a giant hole in my chest. Then again, I’m me, so I would pull it off.”

“I can believe that.” Faith says. And she can. Cordelia is a terrifying popularity machine. “So hey, not to poke at old wounds or whatever, but Xander…”

Cordelia rolls her eyes, but her hands become fists in the hospital blanket. Scooching up closer to Cordelia, Faith grimaces in a “sorry, but…”, kind of way.

“Xander who? Totally _over it_.” Cordelia finally says.

“Totally. Right. I kinda only asked because of me and Buffy.” 

Cordelia snorts at that.

“How’s the gay lifestyle?” she says smirkily.

“Great…” Faith says, but then punches Cordelia in the shoulder for good measure.

“Owch. Come on! _Invalid_ , remember?” Cordelia says, rubbing her shoulder.

“I’m worried about Angel… and Buffy.” Even putting them in the same sentence annoys Faith.

“Who wouldn’t be? They’ve got some crazy angsty love.” 

Not Faith’s desired response. But she came to Cordelia for some obnoxious honesty and hell if she didn’t get it.

“And newsflash: Angel isn’t going anywhere.” Cordelia says. “So, like, watch out.” 

“What about Buffy, do you think she—”

“Still loves Angel? Probably.” Cordelia shrugs. “Definitely. But, and believe me I _hate_ to say this, she really likes you. And I don’t know if I like her, but I can recognize that you are better for her than an ancient moody vampire. I mean, ugh, come on!”

That makes Faith snort with laughter. This whiny, entitled, yet completely honest attitude was the kick in the pants Faith needed.

“Thanks Cordy.” Faith says, and the nickname doesn’t even stick to her tongue. It feels comfortable. “Want a chocolate bar or something?”

“Normally I don’t eat that junk. But oh god yes. Hospital food is bleh.”

Faith leaps up and into the hallway to shake down some vending machines for all they’re worth.

She is smiling. If even Cordelia thinks Buffy really likes her... Buffy probably does.

 

*****

 

Buffy is at school and she is going crazy. It’s been over a week waiting for Faith to call or come by, or, or something, anything at all. Buffy had to patrol by herself and it was weird and boring. She had to go feed Angel by herself… Okay she probably would have done that alone regardless. But it’s so tense (and angsty) between them that she is glad that he is mostly well enough to fend for himself now. Still… she should maybe ask Will to take over on the blood dropoffs. Willow is the only one of the Scoobies who would agree to do it, and she needs something to take her mind off Oz anyway. The Scoobies are so mopey and fractured right now.

Buffy is so antsy that she doesn’t know which class she’s in. Twirling and tapping her pencil viciously on the desk, she bounces on the balls of her shoes, waiting to escape. That bell, it’s got to be coming soon, right? When she hears the electric gong, she’s on her feet and stuffing pencils into her bag. Free! At least till the end of lunch.

She runs through lolling teenagers to meet Willow and Xander at their lockers. Both look deflated and hopeless.

“Come on guys,” she says, linking arms with them and guiding them outside. “Some daylight will do you good.”

Xander and Willow stare at their shoes as they push through crowds who give them hostile stares. The two have become pariahs. Especially Xander. Messing up a relationship with the most popular girl in school is not a smart social move. 

They sit away from the unhappy stares on a bright patch of crunchy grass. Willow and Xander sit very far apart from one another. There is a sigh making its way up and out of Buffy as she looks at them. Willow is pulling up grass and Xander is staring at his muddy shoelaces. But Buffy needs to be the good patient friend, so she does not sigh. Instead she pulls her lunch from her shoulder bag and opens it up. Her mom made curry last night. Joyce has been getting into Indian food since she is hosting an exhibit on saris and Indian fabric arts at the gallery. It’s actually quite good, rich and coconut-y. Would be better not completely cold, but Buffy feels like leaving these two alone to go microwave would lead to them dying of sadness on the spot.

Willow is staring at her tupperware lunch, lifting her hand and dropping it, as if removing the lid is just too much trouble. Unlike Willow, Xander is now stuffing his face with pizza that looks decidedly stale. All the while frowning. They are so sad that Buffy almost wants to laugh. But she bites her lip instead.

She puts her head down to put forkful after cold forkful of curry in her mouth. She feels a hand on her shoulder. Immediately her adrenaline spikes with excitement. Is that? Could it be? She turns around. 

“Faith!” and Buffy couldn’t be happier to say it.

“Hey B. Wanna ditch the Scoobs for a minute?” Faith says, her smirk in full force. She nods at Will and Xander and goes back to staring at Buffy. 

Buffy nods. She looks over at her sad, sad friends with just a smidge of guilt.

“I’ll be right back guys.”

They grunt at her in response. Oh boy. 

Buffy clambers up, leaving her lunch and bag behind on the grass.

Faith pulls Buffy by the hand off the school campus and across the street. They dance under the shade of some trees and Faith leans against one. Pulling Buffy into her, Faith catches Buffy rather awkwardly into a hug. 

“So this means?” Buffy asks. She bats her eyelashes up at Faith for good measure. It’s so cool in the shade of the tree that Buffy shivers. Faith squeezes her extra tight. Feeling Faith’s arms around her after a week of nothing makes Buffy lose her breath. It is so slow, and so intense, as Faith leans her head into Buffy’s, lifts her chin into the kiss she has been waiting for for days. Buffy closes her eyes and presses her lips against Faith’s. _Finally_. 

“I missed ya B.” Faith says. Her smile is almost bashful as she holds Buffy up.

“Same here.”

“Thanks for actually giving me time. That was like nice, and _respectful_? I guess it felt weird to me.” Faith says.

“Anytime.” Buffy says. “I mean I hope not anytime. It was really hard.”

Faith laughs into Buffy’s shoulder.

“So you know I’m not still in love with Angel right?” Buffy says. “That is what this means?”

Faith pushes Buffy slightly back and paces away from the tree. She rounds off to face Buffy again. Rolls her shoulders. It is quite intimidating. Almost like Faith’s attack stance.

“I think it’s more that I trust you. And I like you.” Faith takes a breath to blush slightly and Buffy wants to kiss her senseless. “And I still want to stake Angel whenever I see his stupid moody face… But I like you more than I want to stake him.” Faith pauses. “Does that make sense?”

“I think that is enough for now. A lot of people want to stake Angel. I’m getting pretty used to it.” Buffy says. “And I know the whole star-crossed lovers deal _sounds_ messy. But it isn’t like that anymore. I have to make it up to you. And I will.”

“You don’t have to do anything B. I need to just maybe punch Angel a _few_ times?” Faith smiles hopefully.

“I think maybe not.” Buffy says. She smiles at Faith because she is almost sure Faith is joking. Kind of… “But if you have some rage to work through we could patrol together tonight?”

Faith nods. She approaches Buffy and scoops her up in her arms. Faith spins Buffy around and kisses her on her startled mouth. Buffy missed this. And she will most definitely show Faith that there is nothing to worry about where Angel is concerned. Because she cannot go another Faithless week.

Faith kisses Buffy once on the nose, and says: “See you later for patrol.” 

Buffy rejoins the Scoobies with a huge grin. As she approaches she tries to look sombre. More befitting their heartbreak. But she fails. And luckily for her, Willow and Xander are too stuck in sulk-mode to notice.

 

*****

 

Faith meets Buffy at the cemetery for patrol. It is their third night in a row and Faith can’t believe she held out a week without this. Sweating, punching, and dusting side by side with Buffy is heaven. Buffy is dressed in her practical slaying clothes: khaki pants, sweatshirt. Faith is coming around to the knowledge that this is her favourite way to see Buffy. Because it is Buffy at her most slayerly self. Buffy plops down on the grass and leans against a headstone. Her relaxed posture is so welcoming that Faith sits right beside her and mimics her pose. Buffy opens her duffel and lifts out some cookies in a ziploc bag.

She opens the bag and hands Faith a cookie. Faith can tell Joyce made them, and Faith feels so at peace in this moment that she actually hopes no vampires will show up.

Faith is working through her uncertainty and her anger piece by piece. Every time she sees Buffy kicking ass, part of her sadness disintegrates. The two of them are such a majestic team. And it makes Faith forget for long stretches at a time that there is anything, or anyone that might come between them. 

Buffy twirls her hair as she munches on a cookie. The cemetery is quiet. Faith knows they should get up and search out some danger. But she will give it at least a couple minutes to come find them.

Faith is on her third cookie when they hear a noise. Both of them raise their heads and look over synchronously. There is someone, or potentially something, striding towards them with confidence and a hip sway that makes Faith’s stomach sink. She had almost forgotten about… Is it? Yes, Ilse.

Ilse swishes towards them, her blue skin reflecting moonlight. Faith begins to panic about Buffy finding out about the kiss, and immediately feels ludicrous. They weren’t girlfriends at the time. And anyway this is a potentially dangerous demon, so like focus already!

Faith gets to her feet more warily than normal. Plucky Buffy is already up and bouncing on her toes, peering into the dark to make out the threat.

“F.” Ilse says, drawing the letter out with her tongue. She ducks her head in hello. “Slayer.” Faith had forgotten how innocuously girly Ilse’s voice was.

Buffy turns to Faith with an arched eyebrow.

“You know this demon?” Buffy asks.

“Somewhat… Vaguely?” Faith says, and can feel her embarrassment. She only hopes it doesn’t show on her face.

“Dangerous? Do I stake her?” Buffy whispers as Ilse continues toward them. Ilse laughs and runs lips over sharp teeth. Her lack of concern is making Faith a little nervous.

“No clue.” Faith says.

“Don’t worry little slayers.” Ilse says. She is only feet away from them now. “I’m not here as a threat. More of a harbinger.” 

“A harbing-what?” Faith says. And feels flustered and idiotic. She reaches into her back pocket and puts her hand comfortably around her stake.

Buffy has backed up, and nudged Faith back as well. Her concern is more than just charming right now, it’s helpful.

 “I’ve been watching you two.” Ilse says. She steps closer to close the gap Buffy is trying to make. “I’m not the only one. We have such a delicious surprise for you and Angel.”

“Can you back off?” Faith says. Stepping in front of Buffy, she puffs her chest to fake a bravado she doesn’t feel. Ilse bugs her so much. It’s part mortification, part having no idea what this demon wants.

“I’m not here to hurt you, or your cute girlfriend.” Ilse smiles salaciously at that. Faith tries to put herself directly in front of Buffy. Of course, Buffy isn’t having it. She sneaks around Faith so they can both see Ilse. “You are in for a rough Christmas… We’re watching and we’re meddling, and I, at least, am having lots of fun.”

Ilse turns around at that, and walks briskly away. The second her back is turned she seems less brave. She is hurrying out of range of their stakes and irritation.

“What was that?” Buffy says. 

“Annoying.” Faith huffs.

“I don’t like the sound of this harbinger deal.” Buffy says. “I’m going to have to tell Giles about this.”

Faith doesn’t like it either. Thinking nefarious forces are spying on her is way worse than thinking they are trying to kill her. She is used to that. That is just the life of a slayer. But this is creepy. And cryptic. Both things she really hates. Faith is coming close to running after Ilse. But the strangeness and cruelty of staking someone she has kissed holds her back.

Faith’s chest is rising and falling irregularly. Panic is rising in her. She feels Buffy’s hand wrap around hers, still clinging her stake. Buffy squeezes.

“I’m going to talk to Giles and he is going to know what to do. And for now let’s just dust some vamps.” Buffy says. Her matter-of-fact tone fills Faith with confidence. It is okay. Buffy has dealt with all sorts of creepy things, and always triumphed. Except for that time she died… But… She came back. So...

So Faith and Buffy start scouring the cemetery for fresh graves and potential enemies. The relief Faith feels when she sees a huge male vampire staggering toward them is immense. This she can handle. She smiles over at Buffy as they both crouch down, ready to spring...  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... This is the penultimate chapter and the final chapter is almost done. Hopefully worth the wait :D And hopefully the wait is slightly made up for by the fact that I plan on publishing the final chapter in the next few days???


	11. In Which Our Story Ends

Ever since that night of slaying, which was followed by some pretty great making out, Buffy and Faith have been inseparable. Their relationship is no longer just implied, it’s official. Faith has found herself smiling more and moping less. And weirdly a lot of the thanks goes to Cordelia. For telling it like it is, and making Faith feel like Angel’s continued existence does not need to be their relationship’s kryptonite. Faith and Buffy have fallen into a most excellent routine of slaying, making out, and eating Joyce-made snacks.

Christmas Eve rolls around and Faith is ready to get snuggled up at Buffy’s with some hot chocolate and warm Buffy. Faith is not sure if Joyce knows about the romanticness of the Buffy/Faith relationship, but she was quite insistent that Faith spend Christmas Eve with them. And Christmas Day too.

When Faith knocks at Buffy’s door, Buffy grabs Faith right into a big, crushing hug. Faith steps inside, all full of feelings warm and snuggly. In Faith’s arms are two presents that she put in green gift bags, because wrapping is too finicky and prissy for Faith. The gifts are both shoplifted. But thoughtfully so. She took a long time deciding the right things to steal for Buffy and Joyce. And it _is_ the thought that counts.

The living room and dining room are festooned with lights and garlands. The Christmas tree is lit up and sparkling. Faith sidles in and places the presents under the tree. Joyce is standing in the doorway to the dining room, hand on her hip and smiling. It is so homey, and Joyce so motherly that Faith feels a distinct pang of sappiness, which she smooshes back down. When Buffy slips her hand into Faith’s, Faith figures Joyce knows. Although Joyce does smile a bit obliviously, as if she is ignoring this romantic development.

“Be right back mom,” Buffy says, pulling Faith up the stairs.

“Merry Christmas Faith.” Joyce calls up after them.

“Right back at you Mrs. S.”

In Buffy’s room, Buffy pulls Faith over to the bed. Faith smiles and licks her lips.

“Man Faith, dirty mind much?” Buffy laughs. “I have something important to talk to you about.”

Faith sighs. “Fire away B.”

“I was talking to Will… about Oz. And I started thinking about you and me. I want to show you that you come first… Before Angel and me… Past or no past.”

Faith feels her stomach plummet. Can they not keep Angel out of their minds, his name out of their mouths, for even one night?

“I know Angel is pretty much your least favourite vampire. Which is saying a lot, since slaying is literally our thing. The reason I have to bring him up is there is something going on. Something of the major bad. And we might have to deal with it.”

“Okay B, what’s up?”

“So I ended up inside of Angel’s dream last night?” The end of her statement goes up like a question. It does sound completely improbable. Buffy stares at her squirming hands with a pout. Faith scooches closer over Buffy’s bedspread and puts her hands over Buffy’s, stilling them. “And it wasn’t pretty Faith. I think he’s losing it.”

Faith feels jealous, and wonders what Angel losing it could possibly mean. Losing his soul type losing it? “Is this a staking required type of deal?” Faith asks, after a tense silent moment.

“I hope not. There is this whole First Evil thing manipulating him. And haunting him. I think this is what Ilse was talking about. The people who have been watching us. They’re called Bringers and they are _bad news_ . I think we are going to need to kick some tail. But _not_ Angel’s.”

Faith slumps into a melodramatic sigh. The temptation to kick Angel’s butt is just so strong.

Buffy hops up and scurries over to her closet. She throws a mischievous smile over her shoulder at Faith. Nonplussed, Faith crosses her legs and leans back on her arms. Time to see how events unfold. Buffy leaps back onto the bed with a package in bright red paper. Santa Clauses wave at Faith from all over the wrapping.

“Something to show you that you come first.” Buffy says. “Tada!”

“Hey, thanks B.” Faith beams. “But isn’t the giving of the gifts usually tomorrow?”

“Oh, I have another one for tomorrow too.” Buffy smiles.

“Jeez, B. My one present is feeling kinda like not enough.”

“I’m the one proving myself though.” Buffy says with a matter-of-fact nod.

Faith tears the paper open. It reveals a cardboard box, which she rips completely apart in impatient excitement. Faith actually gasps when she sees what is inside. They are beautiful and expensive looking and completely perfect. Reaching into the box, Faith pulls out a leather boot and holds it in the light. It’s supple and black and badass. She looks down at her own scuffed boots. She unlaces her boots and pulls them off. Without saying a word she puts the new shoes on her feet. She stands up and bounces across the room. They are a perfect fit and exactly the shoes she would have stolen for herself.

“I… B… This is really… I mean I’m not sure I have the vocab for this. Lovely? I mean: thanks.” And Faith collapses into Buffy’s hug happily and without reserve. Faith snuggles against Buffy’s shoulder with a face-splitting smile.

“Faith… I am pretty sure I love you.”

 _Crash_. Faith’s head shoots up to the sound of a body thudding to the ground. Sounds like someone fell from a window. Faith and Buffy both leap up and peer to the bottom of the house. A disheveled Angel stumbles on the grass below.

“Is it okay if I go deal with this?” Buffy asks. Faith nods. How quickly their peace is shattered. Buffy climbs out her open window and eases herself to the ground. Faith decides she would rather be downstairs than eavesdropping.

In the living room, Joyce is stoking a fire.

Faith leans in the doorway, watching and wondering what it would be like to be mothered the way Buffy has been.

Joyce stands up and turns around. With a small gasp, she puts a hand against her chest.

“Oh Faith, you startled me,” she says. “Would you like to help with the decorations?”

Faith smiles and nods, taking the garland Joyce hands her. But soon Faith is frowning. What if Buffy isn’t safe with loopy Angel? Draping the garland near the mantelpiece, Faith’s toes flex with nervous adrenaline. Just as she decides to rush outside to the rescue, she hears a little clatter upstairs.

Buffy sprints into the living room and pulls Faith aside.

“There is something major wrong with Angel right now. I’m gonna ask Xander to come look after my mom, in case Angel comes back. But I think I need to go after him, and I’d like you to have my back.”

Faith nods. It seems crucial, as always, that she protect Buffy.

Buffy goes to find the telephone and Faith reenters the living room to talk to Joyce.

“Hey Mrs. S… I’m sorry but Buffy and I need to go out on duty. We’ll be back as soon as we can.” Faith adjusts a final garland and turns to go.

“Can’t take a break for Christmas Eve?” Joyce asks, and as always Faith can hear the heartbreak in her question.

“We’ve got to go save Angel.” Faith says, and feels oddly heroic about it too.

“Didn’t Angel…? Oh never mind. Will you be back in time for hot chocolate and Christmas movies?” Joyce asks.

“I definitely hope so.” Faith wishes she could be more reassuring, because Joyce deserves it. But Faith has a pretty limited idea of what the heck is going on.

Joyce sighs. Almost satisfied. Having to be.

Buffy reenters the room, running a hand through her hair.

“Hey mom. Xander is on his way over. We’ll be back soon.”

“Xander?” Joyce asks.

“I just wanted him to hang out so you can feel a bit safer. So I can feel like you’re a bit safer.”

“Should I be worried honey?”

Buffy pauses at the front door. She turns to look at Joyce, sees her crossed arms. Buffy walks over to Joyce and kisses her on the cheek.

“I really don’t think so. But better safe than sorry and all that.”

Again Faith finds herself, against her will, touched. Joyce was the type of mother Faith never had, nor thought she wanted, but seeing the two together makes some of her toughness melt. Opening the door, Faith slips out into the night, leaving Buffy to her goodbye. Faith walks down the stairs and leans against a tree in the front garden. It is hard to look nonchalant against a tree (much harder than a concrete wall for example), but Faith leans into it all the same.

There is a click and Faith looks up to Buffy closing the front door behind her. Buffy glides down the stairs. It is always a bit awe-inspiring how she can look so put together in these situations. They smile at each other and start running. Faith feels an extra spring in every step because of her new boots.

Faith’s adrenaline is already high. Ass-kicking adventures with Buffy, yes, please!

“First stop?” Faith asks.

“Giles’.” Buffy replies. “Need his help to find out where these Bringers actually are.”

Faith almost stumbles. Giles’ means books. Not the thwomping Faith had in mind. But if Faith needs to read books for Buffy… well, she’ll at least try.

*****

Buffy and Faith leave Giles’ place chastened. Or at least Buffy is. Giles told her, straight up, that she might have to kill Angel. _Again_. Because his erraticness might mean the second loss of his soul. Buffy had seen Faith tensing beside her but not saying anything. And Buffy had felt surprisingly thankful that Faith hadn’t cheered at the opportunity to stake him.

They are running side by side again, heading for a Christmas tree lot where Buffy is sure she will find the Bringers. She remembers a ring of dead trees, and Giles’ words that “above the Bringers nothing will grow.” It feels like such a lucky break. Which is terrifying. Angel’s life should not be resting on a thin patch of luck.

The two are zigzagging, clumsier than normal, in Buffy’s case because she is so stressed she can’t think.

“You okay?” Faith asks, after several minutes of silence. Neither of them slow down. They keep pace, side by side, zigging and zagging. “That got heavy.”

“I don’t know.” Buffy says. “Killing Angel twice… That’s a lot of times to kill one ex-boyfriend.”

Faith snorts. But Buffy can see her reign it back in, schooling her face to look serious.

“Yeah.” Faith says. She stops running for a second and falls behind Buffy, but then she picks up the pace and catches up again. Faith heaves in a deep breath and looks at Buffy. “B… If Angel loses his soul… I’ll do whatever you need me to do.”

“I know you will.” Buffy nods. She almost wants to say thank you, but can’t quite. The idea of thanking Faith for offering to stake Angel seems a bit too awful.

Faith reaches out, bridges the cool space between them, and squeezes Buffy’s hand. The gesture has Buffy feeling braver as they approach the Christmas tree lot. And it also helps to send some of Faith’s aggression and rage into Buffy. Something she needs.

They weave through the lot together. The dead trees are easy to find. They stand in a ring around the deadest tree that has not a single needle left on it. Now to get down there. Buffy and Faith pause to look around. They take a steeling breath at the same time. Spotting an axe, Buffy lifts it up and lets it bounce in her hands. She raises the axe over her head and brings it down on the ground, littered with yellow pine needles. Down and down and down, she slams the blade of the axe into the ground. Beside her, Faith has no tool, and is digging her boots into the ground. Trying to kick through. Silly, strong-headed Faith. It is beautiful to watch her anger propel her. And she kicks so hard that her foot makes a hole in the ground. Buffy swings once more and breaks through beside Faith. The opening is only big enough for one of them. Buffy gives Faith a meaningful stare as she lowers herself in first. It is the way it must be. Like it or not, Angel is Buffy’s, and it is Buffy’s duty to face this. Faith plops down right behind her, and Buffy feels Faith’s hands squeeze her waist once.

Faith is beside Buffy and they are looking at the Bringers who sit on the ground, heads bowed and chanting. In the middle of them all is a table, covered in candles and other magic stuff that screams of the bad. They all wear hooded cloaks and none of them seem to have eyes. They seem not to notice as Faith and Buffy approach them.

Buffy clears her throat.

“ _Alright, ten more minutes of chanting and then you guys have to go to bed._ ” Buffy says. She and Faith are upon the Bringers now, who barely acknowledge them. Faith throws one against the wall, and Buffy bashes one in the head with her axe. The two slayers fly through the room, throwing punches and Bringers. Buffy swipes the candles from the table, brushes all the spell casting stuff onto the ground. She stomps on it too, for good measure.

“ _Well, I’m impressed._ ”

Buffy looks up. And sees Miss Calendar. Except not Miss Calendar, something distinctly evil taking Miss Calendar’s shape. And it throws her. This is scary. This is the woman Giles loved, the woman Angel killed. And knowing this isn't really her doesn't make it easier to look at.

Faith is tense and bouncing on her toes. Buffy doesn’t think Faith would recognize Miss Calendar, but this must seem really creepy nonetheless. Buffy wishes she had explained her dream more thoroughly to Faith. It’s so hard to see Faith looking like a nervous animal, not knowing what to do.

“Where is Angel? We won’t let you have him.” Buffy says. She feels her stubborn pout coming out. But she holds back, tries to put on a face that looks tough and not petulant.

“Yeah.” Faith says. She stands right beside Buffy, so there is no space between them. Their arms are pressed together. Buffy feels warm. She said “we” so unthinkingly, and now Faith is showing her solidarity with Buffy, even when it’s about Angel. Angel who has always been a wedge between them. Buffy twines her hand in Faith’s and sighs. She feels powerful with Faith beside her.

“ _Hmm. You think you can fight me? I’m not a demon little girls, I am something that you can’t even conceive. The First Evil._ ” Jenny Calendar says. “ _Beyond sin, beyond death, I am the thing that darkness fears._ ”

Faith scoffs, loudly and derisively. And Buffy feels a rush of bravery and pride.

“ _Alright, I get it, you’re evil. Do we have to chat about it all day?_ ” Buffy snarks. Faith is approaching the First Evil. She steps towards it without a trace of fear, with fists raised. Ready to pummel the darkness.

“ _Angel will be dead by sunrise. Your Christmas will be his wake._ ” The First Evil chants, in the melodious voice of Miss Calendar.

“ _No._ ” Buffy gasps. Faith’s fists are clenched so tight that Buffy can see them turning white from here.

“ _You have no idea what you are dealing with._ ” Miss Calendar, the First Evil says.

“ _Let me guess, is it… evil?_ ” Buffy says, and this time she starts forward too.

Miss Calendar disappears, replaced by a lumpy and ever expanding ghost. It looks like it will engulf her and Faith, but then it disappears with the final words:

“ _Dead by sunrise._ ”

Faith and Buffy look at each other for a moment and then start running. Buffy doesn’t even have to do any convincing, and she is glad. Faith seems to be in for the Angel rescue mission. Whatever miracle has brought about this change in Faith’s attitude, Buffy is thankful for. She doesn’t have time to think, she just needs to save Angel.

  
*****

When Faith hears the First Evil’s words, her own angst surprises her. She thought this entire time she wanted Angel to die, wanted to punch his moody face in. But it is too much now that it is here. This is mostly because she can see the terror in Buffy’s face. Buffy’s panic and her determination drive Faith forward. Two times _is_ too many to watch someone you used to love (still love) die. Faith has seen that kind of death and she doesn’t want Buffy to have to see it too. And fuck, Faith has liked being a hero.

And saving him doesn’t mean she loves him or accepts him. It just means that she realizes it is too cruel to let him die. To let him die and do nothing. Faith can’t ever sit back and do nothing. If she was saving Buffy’s skin, she would stake Angel in a second. Will still, if it comes down to it. But to just watch him die alone? No thanks.

They are running. And Faith doesn’t know where, but again, it is okay that Buffy is taking the lead. A little sexy even. Faith keeps pace with Buffy, let’s Buffy’s movements guide her own. They match footfalls and breaths and their synchronicity is the core of what Faith loves about the two of them. Neither of them speak. They just run, and it is cold, strangely so. So they run faster. They leap over fences and curbs and zig and zag until Faith recognizes where they are going. They arrive at Angel’s place panting because they ran as fast as slayers can. No knocking, they barge right in.

“Angel?” Buffy screams. Her voice is panicked and delicate and Faith screams out his name too because she doesn’t want to hear Buffy like this, doesn’t want Buffy to feel like this.

There is no answer. The two of them split up without having to decide to do it and search him out. Faith skitters through cobwebby rooms with no furniture and no Angel. Exhausting her search she goes back to the front door to see Buffy. Buffy’s face is crestfallen.

“He’s not here.” Buffy says, her voice tiny.

“Then let’s go.” Faith says.

They barge out into the night searching for vampires.

Buffy leads the charge, sprinting up the hill behind Angel’s place. Faith can only assume this is to get a better view of Sunnydale. Springing in her new boots, Faith feels oddly exhilarated. The bracing night air adds to this feeling, as it fills up her lungs with something frosty. Faith dances over scrubby bushes and kicks pebbles out of her path.

They crest the top of the hill to find Angel. Faith gasps. It happened so much more quickly and easily than she thought it would. He is standing facing the East, waiting for sunrise. Waiting for death. So this is how it ends. No more enemies to fight, just Angel trying to die on his own.

“Angel.” Buffy calls out. Faith tries not to hear the sob in Buffy’s voice. Tries not to be wracked with jealousy that love is still there. It doesn’t work. Faith is unable to step forward with Buffy. Faith can only watch as Buffy approaches Angel, as Angel turns to look at her. Inside, Faith feels sick. Outside she probably looks sick too. Her face contorts with sadness. She feels so small and insignificant and she hates it. When they were running, two love-struck heroes on a mission together, things were different. They were a pair. But as Buffy approaches Angel while Faith hangs back, Faith has never felt closer to losing Buffy. And closer to admitting that she really doesn’t want that to happen. That feeling is what allows her to move forward.

“Buffy,” Angel says. It feels as if the three of them have been here for ages before anyone speaks. “Faith?” He adds this, his confusion apparent. “If you guys are here to save me, why did Faith come?”

Faith clears her throat and steps forward. She takes Buffy’s hand, both possessive and supportive.

“Because I’m being a fucking hero.” She says. “Obviously.”

“Because she loves me.” Buffy adds. Faith gasps a little. Technically she hasn’t said that. But she guesses it seems pretty plausible. Why else would she be trying to save a _vampire_ , who she also just hates as an individual? “And I care too much about you Angel. To let you die.”

“Are you two together?” Angel asks. It seems like a really stupid and inconsequential and yet all important question to Faith. Had they been hiding their love from Angel by accident or on purpose?

“Yeah.” Faith says. “What’s it to ya?”  
Angel, for a split second, just looks so sad that Faith can’t even parse it. He shakes it off.

“I may have glossed over the fact that Angel was dreaming about us… together… in the biblical sense.” Buffy says.

Faith’s breath catches in her throat. She doesn’t know what “in the biblical sense” means, but she can guess from Buffy’s blushing cheeks that it is most definitely sexual. Faith realizes she has been so focused on whether Buffy loved Angel still that she didn’t think about Angel’s feelings for even a second. The idea of Angel having feelings is pretty gross, honestly. But clearly he does, and they involve love for Buffy.

“Oh.” Faith says.

Angel grunts. Everything is unbearably awkward as the three of them stare at each other. Well, Buffy stares at Angel with tears in her eyes, and Faith stares at both of them feeling a little bit left out and not liking it, and Angel mostly stares at the horizon waiting for the sun to come up.

“Look… Can we leave the soap opera for later?” Buffy says. “I need to get you indoors before it’s too late.”

“It’s already too late Buffy.” Angel says. “I need to do this. I am a monster. And that is all I can ever be.”

Faith knows how high the stakes are, but still, she is disappointed that her nemesis in love is being such a damn sap.

“Look, what’s the big deal?” Faith snaps. “So the First Evil was haunting you, or something… So what? I don’t know what exactly the First Evil is, but I know it’s annoying as hell and you shouldn’t listen to it.”

“ _It wasn’t haunting me. It was showing me… what I am_.” Angel says. “What I’ve done.”

“Look, I’ve heard the stories. You were a piece of work.” Faith says. She tries to think of a follow up, but really can’t. He was a sick bastard. The stories make her cringe as she thinks of them.

Buffy speaks up.

“You’ve got a soul now. And _you have the power to do real good. To make amends. If you die now, all you’ll_ ever be _is a monster._ ”

Buffy’s voice wobbles. Faith feels a swell of love. Buffy is taking Angel to task and it feels overdue. It feels powerful.

“ _The world needs me gone_.” Angel says.

Faith approaches him, seething. She gets right in his face, but stops short of punching him.

“I won’t tell you that that isn’t true Angel.” Faith says. “You know how I feel. I don’t trust you and I don’t like you. But what about Buffy? What about what she needs? How _dare_ you make her lose you _twice_?” By now she is yelling right in his face, her hot breath smacking his cold cheeks.

Buffy gently pulls Faith’s fist back. Faith looks down, notices for the first time that she was about to punch Angel out. Buffy stands in front of Faith and stares Angel down.

“ _I know everything that you did because you did it to me_.” Buffy says. Her voice is wobbly from tears, but also rage.

“Buffy… Please.” Angel says. “ _Just this once let me be strong._ ”

“ _Strong is fighting._ ” Buffy says, her voice gaining strength as her words urge Angel to be brave too. “ _It’s hard and it’s painful and it’s every day._ ” Words spoken, Buffy spins away. Faith wraps Buffy in her arms. Faith strokes Buffy’s hair as she silently cries into Faith’s shoulder.

“Don’t make her watch you die.” Faith says. “The sun’s pretty much up. Just go home.”

Angel looks at them and looks at the horizon, back and forth. Faith is so irritated she wants to just grab Angel by his stupid hair and drag him home. They are running out of time… The sun is peeking up over sleeping Sunnydale even now. It’s too late… And Faith can’t lose. She hates losing. She was supposed to protect Buffy. Faith takes her arms off Buffy’s shoulders and approaches Angel. It is time to get physical. To beat him unconscious and drag him home if need be. Angel backs away from her. He looks so confused, it’s pathetic. She can see his shoulders droop, but can’t tell if he is giving in to death or to Buffy’s speech.

Faith springs forward and punches Angel in the jaw. He staggers a bit but doesn't fall. She grunts in frustration. There isn't enough time for this. Angel looks at her, aghast. Faith’s fist is stinging. Her blood is boiling. The sun is going to rise and there just isn't enough time. Buffy is crying and Angel, the idiot, looks like he finally gets it. Understands that he waited too long to change his mind.

“Look!” It’s Buffy’s voice. Faith looks over her shoulder to see Buffy pointing at the sky. “Look.” This time she whispers, tears streaming over her face. Faith looks up. It is snowing. It is snowing in Sunnydale. And clouds cover the entire sky… no opening for the sun to peek through. Well… Faith may not know much about geography but she is pretty sure California doesn’t get snow. Angel is looking up too, tears on his face.

“If this isn’t a sign, well crap… I’m pretty sure this is a sign.” Faith says. “So let’s kiss and makeup and get Angel the hell home.” Faith regrets the expression after she says it. She damn well hopes there will be no Buffy and Angel kissing. Buffy lets out a sob and Faith runs to her as she collapses on the ground.

“I think you’re right Faith.” she whispers. “Come on Angel. Tell me that isn’t a sign?”

Angel approaches them and collapses beside Buffy. The two of them sit on the hilltop and watch the falling snow. Faith stands above them, hands on hips. She lets out a breath it feels like she may have been holding in for too long. Giddiness fills her up. She sits down beside Buffy, so that all three of them are in a line, watching the snow together.

“Well.” Angel says. “I guess I can’t see what else this could be.”

Faith laughs and squeezes Buffy’s hand. Buffy is shaking all over, with shock, or something else. But Buffy is smiling and Angel is smiling. Buffy grabs Angel’s hand and Faith doesn’t even scream internally. Well, only a little bit.

“Let’s go home.” Buffy says.

All three of them stand up. Angel quickly lets go of Buffy’s hand, as Faith tightens her hold. They head down the hill together, a formidable line of ass-kicking monsters. And Faith feels proud. Really fucking proud. Because she did it, she was a hero.

They walk through the streets of Sunnydale which are filling with powdery snow. The three of them, as if they can all be friends. And Faith feels it, for a moment, feels like this could be her life. Buffy holds Faith’s hand and Angel walks beside them, a shadow of a smile on his face. It isn’t like Angel has stopped bugging her, but tonight made her think Sunnydale might be big enough for the both of them. They wander towards Buffy’s place, nobody talking, but the silence is comfortable. The three of them periodically look up at the sky and smile. Faith did not think her life would have any miracles in it. But there you go.

When they make it home, Buffy unlocks the door almost stealthily. It is definitely past 7am, and Faith has a suspicion Joyce will be up already. Faith can just imagine Joyce, sitting at the foot of the stairs worrying her hands together.

But the door swings open and Joyce is not seated there. Faith enters first, followed by Buffy. Angel remains on the stoop.

“Are you coming?” Buffy asks.

“I really don’t think I should.” Angel replies. He stares at his feet almost bashfully.

“As much as I don’t want you to come in…” Faith begins. “You were getting pretty suicidal and I think this mushy Christmas stuff could do you some good.”

Angel steps over the sill and enters the house.

“I can’t stay.” Angel says. “It’s complicated. Last time Joyce heard about me… I was evil.”

Faith grimaces and nods. That seems like a bit too much to ask of Joyce on Christmas.

“But thank you.” Angel says. “Both of you. I guess maybe I _was_ brought back for something good. Something good did save me today. You two.”

Buffy approaches Angel, and Faith’s stomach contracts in jealousy. Buffy slips into Angel’s arms and squeezes him. It isn’t as hard to watch as Faith would have thought. There is love there, but it is friendly love. Well, at least on Buffy’s end. Angel kisses the top of her head with a mournfulness that would put any angsty heartbroken teen to shame.

“Thank you for staying with us. For living.” Buffy says. And when Buffy looks up, Faith can see tears in her eyes. Angel steps back out into the snowy California day, and smiles.

“Merry Christmas.” he says. The incongruity of him saying something so banal is kind of beautiful. And Faith begins mumbling it back. He waves at them once and walks into the snow. His posture is straighter now. He looks decidedly like he won’t be going off to kill himself. And damn it if Faith doesn’t find that reassuring. Faith scoops Buffy into a hug and they watch Angel walk away. Faith kisses the top of Buffy’s head possessively, because she can do that too. Buffy sighs a sigh so huge that again Faith feels happy they saved Angel. If only to see Buffy so relieved. So calm. Her body is not the tense stress ball it usually is in Faith’s arms and it feels amazing.

They turn around and notice Joyce and Xander, sleeping side by side under some blankets on the couch. Faith closes the front door, and the two lovers enter the Christmas-tastic living room.

“Mom…” Buffy whispers. Joyce’s eyes flutter immediately open. “Merry Christmas.”

Joyce groggily sits and then stands up. She hugs Buffy tight and close.

“Oh honey. I am _so glad_ you’re home.” Joyce says. “Xander and I tried to stay up till you got back… But it seems we couldn’t make it.”

“Look outside mom.” Buffy says, and she reaches over to pull open the curtains.

The three of them watch the falling snow, Faith holding Buffy’s hand, while Joyce rests a hand on Buffy’s hair. It feels like family, like a home.

 

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, so apparently a few days was an optimistic guess on how long this would take me to write! It was a hard chapter. Thank you all for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it so much.
> 
> And again, all the quotes in italics are taken (mostly verbatim) from Season 3, Episode 10: "Amends."


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